Learning to Love Your Husband

Loving Your Husband, Despite the Distractions of the World

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All morning I have been thinking about my love life. It’s true, even mom’s with four children, have a love life. I know, you must be shocked!

Maintaining my love life, becomes harder as life becomes more complicated. Life… Kids… Commitments… Worry… Cleaning… and Everyday concerns. All these distractions, distract me from adequately loving my husband. I’m not the only woman with this “issue”. Actually, I think “most” women suffer from this condition.

I am the luckiest woman in the world. My husband is amazing! He’s downright good looking, he loves me, he supports me, he’s funny, he is the most wonderful father, he is a great provider, and most importantly he loves and serves God.

This afternoon I was reading Song of Songs (that will get you thinking, about the condition of your love life). I was reminded of our dating years. I remember longing for his presence. I remember the excitement that overcame me the night before I knew I would get to see him. I remember being too excited to sleep. I remember our intense physical affection, and how much I longed for him. I remember impatiently waiting for our wedding night. I remember wishing he was beside me, when I closed my eyes. I remember dreaming about him and our future. I remember… I will never forget!

Twelve years have passed, and our marriage has been through many highs and lows. We’ve encountered several big moves (one three year move abroad), jobs, graduate school, illness, economic hardship, four children, and many sick kid moments. Song of Song’s is a chapter in the Bible which speaks of “erotic” or “passionate” love. It’s funny how our love has changed. The intense feelings spoken of in Song of Songs, are still present. Although these feelings now present themselves differently. Every morning when he leaves for work, my heart dips. I think about him all day, and I miss him. My favorite sound each day, is hearing the garage door go up, and watching him pull up the drive. When life kicks my tail, and I feel lonely and frustrated, I long for his embrace. No one else, can love me the way he does. I long for his touch! I long for his embrace. He is my best friend, and my biggest helper.

I am a feminine creature. If there is a generalization regarding women, it’s me (except, I am a good driver). I love deeply… I think too much… I desire to be beautiful… I long to be loved… I want to be a princess (not a queen – they have too much responsibility), and I can’t mentally separate life’s issues. If something is wrong, a relationship broken, or someone is sick, it affects my entire world. Including, how I show love to my husband.

I should take this opportunity to send a quick message to my husband and best friend… “Robert, I love you! I am honored to be your wife. I am thankful for all your do and how wonderfully you provide for our family. I want to apologize for being side-tracked, and for not giving you the attention and love you need. I know I have ADD tendencies and I get easily distracted, and for that I am sorry! I love you! I’m thankful for you and our marriage!”

As time sneaks away, I realize how time changes us. Time changes our love life, our physical ability, our children, our priorities, our relationships, our maturity level, and our spiritual growth. Through the years we have become adults, parents, teachers, friends, and leaders. Through it all, our love has evolved. Evolved into something deeper, more beautiful, more dependent on God… A deeper commitment to love one another… Even when the going gets tough! Our love is not solely “erotic” or “passionate”, our love goes way beyond the world’s definition of love. The two of us are soul mates, best friends, and lovers. Our life experiences pushes us together and our love for God continues to be the glue of our marriage. Our soul’s are woven in ways we can’t fathom or comprehend. God’s love unites us… He is me, and I am He… We are one!

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Encouragement for a Weary Heart · Trusting God

Too Long… Not To See Your Smile

You left me…

You’ve gone before.

I wasn’t ready.

My heart is bleeding.

Your void intense.

Your presence… I miss.

I know I’ll see you again.

Selfishly, it’s not soon enough.

Too long… ┬áNot to see your smile.

I miss you… now.

I long to talk to… now.

I know we’ll meet again in Heaven.

God called you home.

I need you here.

You left and I was inadequately prepared.

I would have never been prepared.

Impossible to easily let you go.

“You” one the greatest saints who walked this Earth’s soil.

I’m glad you no longer suffer in pain.

Makes me smile, to picture you dancing on the streets of gold.

I’m excited for you!

I pray Lord…

Please comfort my aching heart.

Remind me of your Heavenly promise.

Lord, I trust you.

Although I can’t understand.

I believe in your Word, and Your plan.

The tears will fall.

My heart will hurt.

You love will comfort… guide… and strengthen my heart.

When grief arises.

I know where comfort is found.

Lord, your love blankets my hurting soul.

I wait in eager anticipation.

My heart longs for my Eternal home.

For the day I meet Jesus, face to face.

Encouragement for a Weary Heart · Trusting God · Uncategorized

Within My Heart, You Will Always Be

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Today I picked up the phone.
I longed to talk to you.
To hear your compassionate voice.

Your voice has always been such a comfort to my heart.
So unique… so deep… so tender.
Such love escaped your lips.

You understood my heart.
Always knew what to say.
Your words calmed my soul.

As long as I can remember,
You were my biggest fan.
My childhood hero.

This week was tough.
I needed familiarity.
I longed to hear your comforting voice.

You somehow knew how to make my troubles seem smaller.
Your tone… Your encouragement… Your love for God.
Always helped place life’s circumstances in perspective.

I miss your strong hugs.
Your easy going demeanor.
I miss your contagious smile.

I miss your southern accent.
Your boisterous laugh.
I miss your presence on Earth.

Unexpectedly the tears fall.
I can’t pick up the phone, I can no longer hear your voice.
I can recall the happy times we shared.

Your steadfastness… Your Godly character… Your giving spirit…
Abide within my soul.
Within my heart, you will always be.

Motherhood · Parenting · Uncategorized

What Does It Mean To Be A Parent?

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Being a parent is a blessing.
A unique opportunity.
Rich…
Deep….
Ultimately fulfilling.

Being a parent means countless hours.
Enriched with Fun…
Lots of laughter…
Deep rooted pride.

Being a parent means love.
Having children…
Feels like your heart is walking around outside of our body.
Joy… Oh, the joy of being a parent.

Being a parent requires supernatural strength.
Sleep deprivation,
Requiring endless shots of caffeine.
Exhaustion threatens to conquer.

Being a parent means knowing when to back off.
When to push.
When to pull back.
Knowing when to “Let Go and Let God”.

Being a parent is scary.
Hours beside your sick child’s bed.
Endless worrying about their well-being.
Worry… Oh, the temptation to worry.

Being a parent requires solicited help.
Daily prayer for guidance.
Seeking wisdom from…
God, doctors, mentors, friends, and even our kids (our greatest teachers).

Being a parent means standing up for your child.
Knowing when to fight.
Knowing when to remain calm.
Knowing how to discern daily endeavors.

Being a parent means sitting next to a hospital bed.
Intermittent sleep.
Awaking to every twitch.
Praying… Oh, the need to hear from God.

Being a parent isn’t for the weak of heart.
It takes strength…
Lots of prayer…
A selfless spirit.

Being a parent means unconditional love.
Willing to take their pain.
Willing to trade them places.
Willing to sacrifice completely for their well-being.

Being a parent isn’t for cowards.
A good parent exhibits humility and self-control.
A loving parent recognizes their need for help.
Loving… Oh, the deep love of a parent.

Here I sit next to my sweet Christopher’s hospital bed side. It’s been a long day and night. Actually it’s been a long month. He’s experiencing quite a rare situation. You never know what the day holds, and yesterday when I woke up I couldn’t imagine where our day would go. They found fluid on both of his hips, and it was bacteria related fluid. He had to have surgery on both hips to remove fluid and flush it out. It’s a pretty serious situation and we’re looking at least a 5 day to 3 week stay in the hospital.

I prayed for my son. Yes, I wish God would have allowed an easier answer. However, I see Gods hand all over his diagnosis and care. His pediatrician, Dr. Franklin, recognized the severity of the situation and immediately sent him to the orthopedic. The orthopedic, Dr. Todd, recognized right away the problem and sent him to the hospital. The surgeon, Dr. Mast was on call. He is the “best” in the area. A good friend, Dr. Bill Cambell, was on call to be his anesthesiologist. Our pastor spent a few hours with us, and prayed. Not to mention all the prayer, encouragement, love, support, and help we received from our friends and family.

I’m reminded of the quote, “God doesn’t promise we won’t walk through any storms, just that he’ll walk with us through the storm.” This morning I’m thankful for the people God had put into our path. I’m thankful he guided us to the problem and is guiding the doctors as to the best way to help him. We’re looking forward to getting him back to full health and chasing his brothers and baby sister around.

Today he’s in severe pain. He hasn’t been able to move his legs at all. His temperature is pretty high. Please pray for his quick recovery and most specifically that we can get his pain under control and his temperature down.

Uncategorized

God… The Answer To Life’s Complete Satiafaction

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I needed you.
I’ll never understand why you never needed me.

I longed for your love…
For your concern…
For your attention…
For you.

I just wanted you… My child.

You never wanted me.
Occasionally you told me you did.
You bragged of your love.
But your words never matched your actions.

Your actions speak painful words.
They always told me others were more important.
People, animals, addictions, cars, homes, stuff.
It’s true… Everything and everyone was more important.

I can’t understand… My child.

You search for love…
Through drugs, people, alcohol, your career, friends, stuff.
Why can’t you seek me…
My love.

I can’t understand.
I see your desire to be loved.
I know your heart intimately.
Every word… Facial expression… Emotion…every attempt to control.
Everything within you,
Screams… Love me!
Can someone please love me?

How did you never know… Never understand how I loved you.
How I longed for your heart.
I longed for you to love me.
Seek me?

You never wanted my love… You still don’t.

You threaten me with ultimatums.
You want me to show up.
Yet, when I do you are always somewhere else.
You’re never focused on me,
Your focus is always out there.
Anywhere but here… On me.

I finally understand.
After years of striving… Yearning… Desiring your heart.
I realize you will never Want… Desire… Choose my love.
My soul healing… Heart mending… Fulfilling love.

You’ll continue your life.
Seeking Happiness… Joy… Love… Fulfillment.
Chasing all worldly things.
Things that will leave your heart more vacant than before.

Will it ever be me?
My Son?
My love?
My word?
My life fulfilling cup?

Your desires to chase after the wind.
The men… The bars… The empty relationships… The addictions.
Your daily race,
Doesn’t include me.

Will you ever take an interest in me?
Who I am?
My Son?
What I love?
My kids?
My Word?
My unconditional love… For you?

Will you ever… Desire me?
Your Father.
Your creator?

Will you ever seek me?
My life fulfilling cup… The bread of life?
Drink from my cup… My child.
You will never be hungry or thirsty again.
Complete satisfaction can only be quenched through me.
Your Creator and Loving Heavenly Father.

Praise God · Trusting God

New Years 2013

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Today is New Years Day, 2013. On this day every year, people all around the world, contemplate the prior year. It is human nature to “want” to be better. No matter where we are in our lives, we honestly have a part of us that desires to be better.

I am thankful for this special day! Every year I ponder and revaluate my life. What all did I do? Did I succeed? Was I active or lazy? How was my relationship with God? Can I see spiritual growth in my life? Did I reveal strong love to my husband, children, family, and friends?

Each year I take a “time out” to focus on the coming year. How I can make my life a little bit better? Although I have many resolutions, one remains the same year after year, day after day, and moment and moment. Have I grown closer to God?

Today, January 1, 2013, I resolute to…

1. When writing the date on letters, checks, etc… I WILL NOT write the wrong year. I have the hardest time training my brain to write the new year. (This one’s a long shot, but it’s my resolution)

2. I truly desire to read my Bible every single day. Even if it’s only a paragraph, although I will aim for a chapter or more. My Bible will have it’s new home on the island in the kitchen. As a reminder to read God’s life giving words daily.

3. I will be more mindful of the time I’m spending on the iPad’s, iPhone, computer, etc. At times I feel life is passing me by, simply because I have my focus on a lit up screen. I am reminded that “life” is the most amazing screen, and I choose to spend more time enjoying God’s aesthetics and the people He’s placed in my life.

4. My body is my temple, and I choose to live a healthier lifestyle. Each year this is at the top of my list. Several times I have accomplished this goal to some extent. This year it would sure be nice, if I could top the previous years and lose a considerable amount of weight.

5. To continue serving God, and trusting Him in each situation. To make God more the center of my thoughts and heart. To respond the way God would, and love the way He loves. To become more like Christ!

Readers, What are your thoughts on 2012, and what are your resolutions for 2013. It is my prayer that God is at the center of your heart and mind. Always remember that God loves you, and desires the very best for your lives.

Jeramiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord, plans for you to prosper and never to harm you. ”

God Bless,
Crystal