The Christian “F” Word

This is revolved from a fellow blog friend. Her message is profound and one I feel everyone should hear. “Lessonsbyheart”

Lessons by Heart

Barely making eye contact, Johanna* quickly looked past me as I entered the building and asked, “How are you?”

Slowing down a bit, I responded, “I’m dying of cancer.”

She never batted an eye. “Oh, that’s nice, dear.”


(I’m not dying of cancer – just so you know!)

This was part of an experiment I’ve been running, curious to see how people would respond. Most of the time, when folks ask “How are you?” they’re doing the “polite” thing. Very few actually give a rip.

On the street, polite disinterest is to be expected. When I find the sense of “don’t bother me with the details, just give me the standard answer” among my church family members, I am saddened. Because we have the “mind of Christ,” His tender-hearted care must be evident, one would think.

My goal is to become genuine. Therefore, if I don’t care, I don’t…

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What Is “True” Friendship


The picture above is my friend Toni Christianson. She is one of several “true” sister friends, God has blessed me with.

I’ve heard it said, “If you have one true friend, you are blessed.” I have been blessed with many wonderful “true” friends. Friends, who I can count on to lift me up before the Lord and whom I can encourage in their daily walk with The Lord.

What is a “true” friend?

Many of us have friends and acquaintances. Yet… Few or no “real” friends. You can be the most popular person in the world and still have no true friends. Hmmm???

A friend loves at ALL times.
Lifts you up before the throne in prayer.
Lifts you up in midst of other people.
“Never” tells your deepest secrets for self-gratification.
Cherishes your good qualities.
Forgives your mistakes and allows you to be human.
Friends, pray with you.
Friends trust you.
They listen and withhold judgement.
A friend will never speak negatively behind your back… Never!
Their always willing to help you out in a pinch.
Never lies to you.
A friend really loves you… Is not afraid to tell you so.
Respects your value system and convictions.
A friend likes you for who you are.
A friend accepts you just as you are.
A friend really “likes” you. {This means they don’t complain about you or secretly think bad thoughts about you on a regular basis.}.

What a friend is not.

Easily angered.
Someone who’s willing to speak against you to other people.
Someone who is overly critical.
Someone who belittles you in the presence of others.
Someone who gossips about you or to you.
One who fails to lift you up to the Father.
One who fails to lift you up in the presence of other people.

Friends are genuine people, people who love you for your good qualities and your imperfections, accepts the person you are, someone close or far away who makes time for you, regularly encouraging, eager to take your hand and pray to the Father on your behalf, and lifts you up in prayer on a regular basis.

Some people seem to know everyone and seem to know everything about everybody. However… This isn’t indicative of one who has “true” and “lasting” relationships.

These relationships will leave you with little time and an inability to build and maintain life-long, contented, Godly friendships.

Oh by the way, if you truly desire to have “real” and “uplifting” relationships, there is one important condition… Ready?

You have to be a “real” friend. “True” and “genuine” friends are attracted to “true” and “genuine” friends!!!

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times.”

John 15:13, “Greater love has no one but this, that he lay down his life for a friend.”

God has been speaking truth into my heart about being a more genuine friend… A more genuine person. I think overall I’m a good friend, yet, I have so much more I need to work on in the area of friendship building. Most importantly, God is teaching me to talk more to Him, and to make Him my go-to person.

It’s my prayers that this blog encouraged you to be a better friend and the process of building healthy and lasting friendships.

Blessings, Crystal