Uncategorized

Suppression of Emotions… Is There a Better Option?

IMG_8835

As I work towards completing my counseling degree, I am realizing the importance of “emotions”.  

It’s true…  Emotions are VITALLY IMPORTANT aspect of our lives!

Emotions actually are God’s way of tuning you into an awareness of “What is actually going on inside of you?” and God’s way of  “Revealing our deepest needs, telling us when life is becoming too much… and when we NEED to slow down!”.  

God designed our emotions to help us… To guide us into KNOWING when we need more time with Him…  To aid us in knowing when “something inside of us is not quite right”.

As a society we HATE emotions… Emotions make us feel weak, insecure, and vulnerable.  We are taught to put on our “everything’s perfect faces”… and grin and bear our inner emotions.

We are taught to NEVER be vulnerable…

Friends…  this is DANGEROUS!  

In the counseling realm…  This is referred to as “suppressing” our emotions.

What does it mean to “suppress one’s emotion”- It is an individual’s strategy for regulating negative and uncomfortable emotions.  There are many suppression strategies and they’re all dangerous to our physical/spiritual/mental health.  Some tof us turn to food.. other turn to sex… keeping busy… alcohol…  and the list goes on.

Problem is the only way to “truly” resolve the root cause of painful emotions is to face them head on, contact a qualified counselor, be honest with ourselves, and “most importantly” spend quality time in honest conversation with the Lord.  

You see… The emotions are God’s way of informing us that something inside of us… NEEDS to be addressed.

Thus, when we suppress the emotions… we are causing deeper and more serious issues in our lives.  

People spend YEARS suppressing emotions…  As a result they’re overall physical/mental health suffers.

Friends, God is teaching me something called “Victorious Living”…  This is where he’s showing me how truly happy, joyful, and peaceful life can be if we take steps to freeing ourselves from the bondage of suppressed emotions.

An emotionally healthy person takes the initial hard steps to being honest with themselves and allowing God to heal us from the inside/out…  Rather than continuing in harmful suppression behaviors…  Take steps to AUTHENTIC healing, contact a qualified Christian counselor, seek Godly counsel from pastors, friends, and most importantly “BE HONEST” before God.  Be willing to push through the “temporary” uncomfortableness of dealing with the “bondage of suppression”.  Dealing with our emotions is painful…  But not near as painful as living our lives in bondage to suppressed emotions.  The act of suppressing is DESTRUCTIVE to our physical/spiritual/mental health.  The act of seeking complete healing, through facing our deepest emotions head on, “although temporarily uncomfortable”, leads to true freedom/peace/joy!  

I personally believe that suppressing our emotions is direct sin against God.

Why?

When we suppress our emotions… We aren’t trusting God is able to help us.

When we suppress our emotions… We are turning to other “destructive” world things for comfort, instead of God.

When we suppress our emotions… We are saying, “I don’t need God!”

 

What does the Bible say regarding “suppressing emotions”?

 

Romans 12:18 “As long as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”  

1 John 1:19 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness.”

Ephsians 5:18-33 “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always.”

Psalm 102:1-28 “A Prayer of one afflicted, when he is faint and pours out his complaint before the Lord. Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry come to you! Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. My heart is struck down like grass and has withered; I forget to eat my bread. Because of my loud groaning my bones cling to my flesh.”

James 5:13 “Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

Blessings, Crystal

 

Dear Lord,

      I praise you today!  You are able, faithful, and willing to step into our lives… into our pain and heal the root causes of our painful emotions.  Lord, you know we are human…  we are weak and needy, you created us to NEED you.  Help us Lord to utilize your true and complete healing, rather than the temporary “so-called” comforts of suppression.  Lord, allow each one of us to be drawn to you in our times of need, in our times of sadness, fear, and pain.  Lord, you are the author of healing!  Thank you for the work you’ve done and are continually doing in my life.  Thank you for walking me through the painful experiences of my childhood to the path of finding true healing.  Mold me Lord….  Make me… Create in me a new heart within me… A heart that seeks you alone and your authentic healing!  I love you Father!  Your Daughter, Crystal 

Uncategorized

Are You An Internet Troll? Are You Tired of Internet Trolls?

2836473121_9129254844_z

What is an internet troll?

Wikipedia refers to a “Troll” as:  In internet slang, a troll-is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people. 

I ask you again….

Are you an internet troll?

Are you tired of internet trolls?

I am an avid Facebooker.  Facebook has proven to be a wonderful place to stay in touch with friends and family.  For the most part, I have found Facebook a place of encouragement, humor, and spiritual growth.  Unfortunately, I have occasionally found Facebook to be a place of discord.  Most of the people on my Facebook friend list are positive, encouraging, loving, and a place to find caring prayer warriors.  However, at times people use Facebook as a place to attack, publicly out, and complain.  

This is a “sad” scenario!  

It seems to me people are looking for anyway to become disturbed, embittered, and angry!  

These aren’t just mean people, these “trolls” at times have been friends, or at least their on my Facebook friend list.  

There have been many times, my feelings were hurt via a comment on my Facebook page.

I have realized that my “true friends” would never intentionally hurt me.  Typically I offer several hurtful comments and then I take one simple step, “I  click… “unfriend”.

Honestly, life is full of negativity, hurtful people, and difficult relationships, I refuse to allow negative people on Facebook, twitter, etc… an ongoing avenue for continual hurt to my heart.  

There is enough hurt in life, without added and unnecessary hurt via internet media.

Often times, these hurtful comments come from my Christian friends, those who are supposed to be fellow encouragers through this life.  

This is the primary reason my children will not be allowed Facebook accounts until they are through the tough middle school/high school years.  Adolescents are dealing with so many self-esteem issues, without the added stress of “internet trolls”.  

What does the Bible say about “internet trolls”?

Mathew 5:9 “Blessed are the “peacemakers” for they shall be called children of God.”

Friends, we should approach Facebook in the way we approach life…  We should be encouragers and peacemakers.  If we feel a comment in anyway may hurt another, we should keep our mouths closed, and just keep scrolling.  

My method is…

If I like I press “like” or comment.  If I don’t like or disagree I “keep scrolling”.  

It’s really that simple!!!  

Yes, there is an occasional situation when you feel a situation should be addressed with another person.  This should be done in private, rather than through public ridicule or character outing.  

Please Remember….

Don’t be so sensitive!

Don’t take EVERYTHING so personally!

Don’t assume the worst!

Don’t be a devils advocate!

Don’t be a TROLL!!!

Please Remember…

Be supportive!

Be encouraging!

Be a Light for God’s kingdom!

Be a FRIEND…  A “real” friend!

Be a peacemaker!!!

It is my prayer that you were encouraged through this post!  Encouraged to be a part of the solution, rather than part of the problem!  Encouraged to “think twice” before making hurtful comments on Facebook!  

Remember:  Just because your typing it into a computer screen and not saying the words to their faces, doesn’t mean that the comments aren’t real or hurtful.  Actually, typing a comment should really make us “think twice” about what/how we comment, as many of the non-verbals and vocal inflections are unavailable to show sarcasm, tenderness… etc.

For the sake of our friends, our children, and ourselves….

PLEASE:  BE A PEACEMAKER!!!  NOT A TROLL!!!

Uncategorized

Happy Birthday Caroline!

IMG_8858

Sweet Caroline,

     Today you will turn 3 years old!  Everyday you pretend you are a princess.  I tell you, little girl, you are “most certainly” a princess.  You are God’s princess!  Everyday you not only do you proclaim, “I am a princess!”, but you tell me, “Mommy, You are a princess too!”.  Caroline, you have made our home a more wonderful place!  Mommy & Daddy are so happy God placed you, Sweet Caroline into our home.  Your life has made ALL of ours better!  Mommy, is no longer the only lady in the house, surrounded by lots of boy toys, movies, and books.  You sweet girl have touched places inside your daddy’s heart, I know he never knew existed.  Your brothers, have adored you, cared for you, and grown to appreciate the “pink” that is you!  You have invited countless hues of pink into our house, offsetting all the blacks, blues, and greens.  Today you grow another number, you gain another year, another year of fond memories to stuff away into my most cherished moments!  We are so proud of you Caroline!  Everyday we thank the Father for the gift you “you”… sweet “Caroline”!  

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

IMG_8842

Uncategorized

WE GOT A DOG!!!

Getting a new puppy is a part of life for many families.  However, in our family…  getting a new puppy… is well let’s just say a… MIRACLE!!!

I have always been a dog person, but my husband, to say it honestly… “CAN”T STAND DOGS!.  He is NOT a dog person.

Needless to say,

A few weeks ago, I took my kids into the pet shop to play with the puppies.  For 12 years, since I’ve had children I have taken them to the pet shop to play with puppies, because I want them to get used to playing with animals and because “frankly” their just so darn cute.

We always leave with the kids begging to take a puppy home, but I always says the same thing, “We’ll never have a dog, daddy is not a dog person!”

However, this little guy was another story.  He wasn’t just cute…  He stole a piece of my heart.  Tears filled my eyes as I handed him back to the store owner.  I couldn’t stop thinking about this little dog.  I began researching the breed, which only proved that the “Ori Pei”, (a mix between a shar pei and a pug) is an awesome family dog.  All the information I found said they are loving, playful, extremely non-aggressive, unbelievably affectionate, and easy to train (or so they say).

A few days ago, I dropped all my kids off at school for the first time since summer vacation began.  My heart was sad, I missed my kids.  I decided to go the the mall to get my nails painted and have a little shop therapy.  Thus, I decided to see if “my” puppy was still at the pet shop…  He was!.  I held him for a long time.  He LOVED me…  I mean LOVED me!  The owner was shocked at how he cuddled so fervently to me and whimpered when I handed him back.  {It was the most pitiful whimpering EVER}  My heart was broken 😦  I wanted so badly to take this little doggy home, but I knew my husband’s feelings about dogs.  Sooooooo?

I went home and begged!  And begged!  I admit it “I BEGGED!”  I eventually was able to get my husband to agree to at least meet the puppy.  I told him after you meet him, “If you say no and still feel he isn’t supposed to come home with us, then I will say nothing else, I promise!”

My husband recognized the connection I had made with this little pup… “I even think he liked the puppy too!”  Finally… he agreed.

Sooooooo…. WE GOT A DOG!!!!

 

Dad jokingly said we should name him Lego…  My three boys LOVE Lego’s and so they heartedly agreed…  So meet our newest family member…

Lego Ridlon

10413423_10153422712387195_7667657568646651228_n

This is Lego!  This picture was taken on the day he won my heart.  Two weeks later he became a member of our family!

This is Lego right after Daniel came home and found out we had a doggy!  They were all in shock/disbelief…  “He’s ours… Really ours?”  They were all thrilled!  All 4 kiddos LOVE him!  Especially, Robby!  🙂  And of course… I adore him!

10559741_10153423918337195_6126942410909355480_n

Proverbs 12:10: “A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal.”

Uncategorized

Cherish the Memories; Embrace the Journey

IMG_7725

Tomorrow my oldest son Robby begins 7th grade at the local junior high school.  This transition, I have dreaded.

I have repressed underneath feelings of worry, fear, and sadness.

Today I must face this transition head on…

Tomorrow is as sure as today…

No longer will the act of “repression” calm my worries, fears, and sadness.

Tomorrow is the BIG day!

I can no longer put it off.

 

It’s out of my control.

I keep looking for a rewind button, but there’s none to be found.

No time machine allows me to go back to…

The moment,  after hours of excruciating labor, when they placed my little strong willed red-head in my arms.

The moment, I walked him into his first day of….

Preschool… Kindergarten… 6th grade…

No amount of wishing allows me to go back to…

The moments… When he slept in my arms… When I nursed him back to health… When I watched him take his first steps…

These moments  are cherished memories of the past.

 

These cherished moments are forever ingrained into the fibers of my being…

In the most deepest places of my heart.

The precious moment’s of yesterday… are the reason for the tears of today.

These tears are rooted in the beautiful memories of yesterday.

This ache simply means…

I have loved…

I have cherished…

I have protected.

 

The present… the future… awaits memories to be made…

Steps to be taken.

Hearts to be broken.

Hearts to be filled with love.

Relationships to be broken.

Relationships to be nurtured.

 

Life is made up of memories.

Life is about embracing transitions.

Life is accepting the future.

 

My boy’s future memories…

Begin with the next BIG step…

The next big step….

Junior High.

 

Throughout this new transition in my son’s life…

I will embrace the journey.

I will cherish the memories.

I will be here…

To comfort.

To guide.

To protect.

 

I will be here…

Cheering  him on.

Loving him.

Walking with him through life’s transitions.

 

Son, hold your head up high.  Walk with confidence into the future!  You are prepared for the next BIG step!  You are ready!  I will be here!   Ready to catch you.  Ready to comfort you.  Ready to cheer you on.  Ready to watch you soar.  Ready to walk you through the net BIG transition.

Soar my boy!

Soar!

Love Mom

First Corinthians 12:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Proverbs 1:8-9 “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.”