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Amazing how Satan plans attacks when we’re already weakened. A family member, who I do not communicate with because she is quite toxic and full of anger, completely and out of the blue, for no reason at all sent me a FB message. This isn’t the first time this person has verbally assaulted me, in the message she attempted to trash my character, claimed she knew my “evil” thoughts and motives on certain matters, even brought up completely untrue things, just to ensure my heart was sliced deeply. Which it was! Although, this message hit hard and definitely broke my heart and caused me many tears, it also lead me to Jesus in prayer. Which was refreshing and healing!
I lay here in the other side of the hurt, unable to sleep, as God reminded me several profound truths. I wanted to write them out, as I’m certain I’m not alone in having someone hurt me with a verbal thrashing and the pain it can leave behind. I thought, perhaps
there’s someone else out there who has endured the foul side of another’s bad day. If someone has been unkind to you, it is my hope and prayer that you find peace in these truths.
Truths Revealed During My Prayer Time
1.) People project their feelings toward themself onto others.
I know this is exactly what happened tonight. The hatred and anger has nothing to do with me, but their own world of pain. I have walked away from the dysfunction, simply because it is a form of toxicity that is hazardous to one’s mental health. Thus, I’m not around enough to create such hatred and bitterness. God reminded of of the true condition of their hearts, lost, empty, defeated, and without hope. He whispered to my heart… Pray for her!
Mathew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
2.). My identity is in Jesus Christ’s unconditional love and acceptance of me.
My identity is not in the defeating untruths poured onto me. I belong to Jesus! He is the only one who has a say in my value and worth! I will rest in His promises and in His unconditional love for me! I will not allow Satan’s attack to shred my ability to serve God whole-heartedly!
Galatians 2:20 “ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
3.) My only job is to love, serve, and please God!
It is not my job to make sure everyone is happy with me. It is my job to treat people in a Christ-like manner and show His love to this se in need.
In fact, living for Jesus has a way of making many people unhappy and insecure. Jesus was perfect and most wanted him crucified. I live for Him, should I expect less, even though His word says; “We will be persecuted for His sake.”
Galations 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
4.) People will have to answer for the sins they commit on this Earth. It may feel like they get off Scott free when they attack with such hatred and you refrain from “giving it to them”. It wouldn’t help! Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way! God will take care of it and I can hand it over to him.
Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
5.) Never lose hope! I’ve spent many years praying for my family members to repent and turn their hearts to God! At times, especially after getting these nasty grams, it can begin to feel hopeless. Yet, we are called to never lose hope!
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”
Friends, Having people spew hatred, bitterness, and lies at you is extremely painful! I know this all too well! I am thankful that God knows what we’re feeling and identifies with our heartache and is always ready to comfort us and show us his loving truths!
Hebrews 4:14 & 15 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin.”
May you be comforted, as I was comforted by our loving Heavenly Father!
Thought I was ready to say goodbye. Years of watching you suffer made me cry.
You told me you were ready. Month after month your balance grew more unsteady.
Slowly, I watched your body decline. When we’d visit you were always on cloud nine.
You provided plenty of love and wisdom. You were my greatest support system.
We used to talk on the phone for hours everyday. We always had a lot to say.
You showed your love with your deeds. Always made sure to meet my needs.
Popcorn stories before bed and making paper hats. I will always cherish our many long chats.
So many precious memories. Sharing our dreams, singing songs, talking, and drawing our most beautiful trees.
You were always caring and sentimental. Grandma, you sure made my life special!
Thank you for giving me your best. Because of you, my life was truly blessed!
Grandma, you deserve the shiniest crown. And Heaven’s finest gown.
Until we meet in Heaven’s jubilee! I will forever be your legacy.
RIP Grandma Dorothy! 5/3/1932 – 1/5/21. Until I See You Again!
It’s not goodbye! It’s see you later!
Tuesday, January 5th @ 7:24 p.m. my sweet grandmother crossed over into Heaven! I haven’t been able to post about her loss and my heart has been shattered.
I’m still not quite ready to put into words exactly how I feel since her passing. Primarily, because a emptiness has causes a tremendous heaviness and pain within my heart!
I was blessed to be there and hold her hand, as she left this old world and took Jesus’s hand! My heart is grieving, which is a sign that I was loved by my grandmother! The two of us had a very special bond! I was lucky to have the most amazing grandmother in the world!
RIP Grandma Dorothy
5/3/1932 – 1/5/21
“We do not grieve like those with no hope!”
Happy New Year and welcome 2021! As I ponder the farewell of 2020, I am overcome
with emotion! An entire year is filled with abundant memories; Many positive and many difficult!
The last 1 1/2 years our family has faced significant trials, trauma, heartache, transition, and many hardships. This all endured in the midst of Covid hitting and the world being shaken up and everything literally being turned upside down. I recall on January 1st of 2020 telling a friend that I was more than glad to say goodbye to 2019. God immediately convicted my heart. “Crystal, yes 2019
was an extremely difficult year, but I have been good! Think about all the blessings this year brought!” I took note of the firm but gentle message from the Lord and he began showing me his heart!
The latter half of 2019 was traumatic for me and my family, as my niece (who was much like a daughter) was hit by a car and was in a coma for 6 months and passed away in December of 2019. Despite the intensity of the tribulation of 2019, God was still faithful! Thus, my new year’s resolution for 2020 was to see the good gifts from God, even in the midst of painful circumstances!
I wish I could say that 2020 was a breeze, much to the contrary! 2020 brought with it a plethora of painful circumstances and difficult transitions! However, I hung to God’s conviction to continue to see the good in the midst of trials! To never fail to see God’s provision in the midst of painful circumstances! It sure is easy to lose sight of God when life is filled with stressful situations and broken hearts!
True to his promise, God remained faithful in the midst of every trial that occurred in 2020! One thing that I’ve come to see over the past several tumultuous years, is that in the midst of trials, God blesses us in tremendous ways! We only have to pay attention to see God carrying us through the hardship surrounding our lives!
In the midst of suffering God has shown up in His word and quiet times, precious moments with family, beautiful nature, encouraging friends, fun-filled trips, unexpected blessings, always meeting our needs, and showing us that he is in control!
This year, I am not “happy” to see 2020 pass by! Despite, the fact that 2020 was filled with many valley’s! It was in fact a year of trials, learning, growing, and many stressful moments! God revealed in very real ways the spiritual realization, that it is in the valley’s we grow! The year 2020 was a year our family grew closer to God and one another, our marriage flourished, we came to realize our truest friends, our trials pushed us into the arms of Jesus, and God revealed that he alone is our only constant! 2020 also revealed that God sometimes asks us to leave our homes, only to see what we left for unravel before our eyes! Leaving us questioning His plans and reasoning! Yet, God is faithful and His plans for his children are for us to prosper and never to harm us! I know this much, God has a plan! One day we will see it fully, for now we trust that He knows what he’s doing!
I don’t have all the answers and I certainly can’t read into the future; I can trust with 100 percent certainty, that God is faithful and he works all things out for the good of those who love Him!
Sadly, I say goodbye to 2020! I gladly welcome 2021! It would sure be nice to endure a mountain top experience for awhile. However, if God chooses to allow more valley’s; I know we will be just fine! God’s plans are always the best! He really does love His children and desire for us to prosper and serve and love him solely and completely!
New Year’s spiritual Resolution for 2021… “To trust that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do!”
I will pray hard! I will continue living for God! Trusting Him and His plans for our lives! Knowing that He has us on a path, a path that was especially prepared for those who follow him!
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for you to prosper and never to harm you!”
Romans 8:28 “All things work for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose!”
The past several days , with the holidays, I have been thinking a lot about my niece Catelyn! This time last year she had been in a coma for 4 months and we were beginning to say our goodbyes, as her body began failing. Her accident was life-changing for me… Seeing her the first time lying lifeless in that hospital bed, was the most traumatic moment of my life! I’ve spent hours and hours in therapy processing the trauma from her accident and her loss. Thankfully, I have found peace and healing… But the grieve doesn’t go away! It is a life long journey learning to live without someone you loved!
This young lady was more than a niece, she was more like a daughter! She was born when I was 11 years old and I pretty much raised her, as her mother and my mother lived their lives for themselves! I took care of her as an infant, taught her to walk and talk. Sadly, I resented her at times, because her birth in many ways meant the end of my childhood. Trust me, this was short-lived! When I moved out of the house at age 16, God quickly convicted my heart, that this sweet girl needed me! I tried to make it home every weekend during my college years to ensure she made it to church. She wanted to be like her aunt Crystal! She told others and I was so proud to be someone she could really look up to! I never wanted her to be like me, I only wanted her to become who the woman God created her to be! This was always my prayer for her! There wasn’t a part of my life she wasn’t part of and the photo albums prove this fact! She lived with us for a year when she was in high school. The memories are abundant! Tears still flow when I see her pictures and recall the countless memories we shared together! We lived through many hardships, precious moments and tender moments together!
Sadly, Catelyn and I often had a tough relationship as she grew older and made decisions that she knew I didn’t approve of… This is the stuff that haunted me after her death! The very thing that grieved me the most! I have peace over these difficult years and know that this old unGodly world, has a way of trying to destroy God’s perfect plan! The enemy won many battles, but he didn’t win the war! She is with Jesus! We made peace and I am forever grateful for the final moments to have shared love, hearts, and most importantly I was able to for the final time share Jesus with her!
I NEVER stopped loving her or praying for her! I NEVER gave up hope that she would get her life together and surrender to God’s will for her life! Sadly, this hope and prayer never came to fruition on this side of Heaven. This makes me sad… I know one thing for sure… If love could save a life, my sweet girl wouldn’t have died so young! She’d be living a confident, joyful, and happy life today! I give God thanks that she will be in Heaven and I will see her again one day! The relationship will be perfect! I look forward to hugging her and telling her how proud of her I am! Her last moments will be forever cherished! Even though my heart ached… broke… and struggled to even catch a breath.
I miss you, Catelyn Michelle! My heart still grieves your loss and breaks every time I remember that your gone! I thank God for the times we shared together and the many memories we shared together! I am sad and miss you terribly! Your little girl face will forever be ingrained in my mind!
Holidays have a way of bringing loss and grief to the forefront. Praying for all those who have lost someone special to them!
This amazing man started a new job this week! He is working for Thrasher Foundation & Repair in Springfield. He traveled the first week and drove all over Missouri and Kansas and was gone for several days.
It was so very hard for this momma to let her child go and I fought emotion the entire week. I know holding him back wouldn’t have been God’s plan! Letting go is the HARDEST part of being a momma! I worried and took my worries to God in prayer and I did this about a hundred times since he left on Wednesday morning for his first week of work. A few times I got ready and my heart was overwhelmed with the grief of watching your child leave the nest. I’m thankful he’s not completely leaving the nest yet and he’s leaving for a few days and coming back.
There was tremendous joy, as I heard his stories and observed the excitement he had about getting such an awesome job!
I am so very proud to have such an awesome young man for A son! I am proud of the way he makes the world a better place, with his Love for God, people, and bringing kindness to a world in desperate need!
Great job, son! I’m proud of you! Robert Ridlon
Americans, my heart has been troubled for several months over the direction our nation is headed. Sadly, we are taking for granted the freedoms we have in America! This is terrififying to me at the deepest level! I know the feeling of being trapped, helpless, scared, and controlled! Being imprisoned, trapped, helpless, unloved, and controlled is the worse feeling in the entire world! I was raised in a home where I continually felt controlled, scared, trapped, and helpless! These are the worse feelings I’ve felt in my entire life! I have spent the duration of my life trying to overcome these difficulties from my childhood.
When I turn on the news today, I experience flashbacks to my childhood! The screaming, violence, hatred, riots, looting, attacking, name calling, cursing, and vulgarity were a regular part of my upbringing! It was Satan fueling the violence and pain in my childhood home and it is Satan fueling the violence on the streets, in the government, and in our culture! To think of living in a country where the government or one political agenda is in control, triggers tremendous fear of being controlled and helpless! Living for Christ has been the conduit that has set me free from many forms of bondage! Sadly, many feel that surrendering their hearts to Christ is an act of powerlessness and confinement! It is the exact opposite, it is freedom, peace, joy, purpose, meaning, and faith knowing God is in control!
It saddens me to see America moving into a time, ever so gradually, of persecution, famine, and a complete lack of freedom. In fact, we’re already there! People are no longer allowed to attach a flag to their vehicle or put a sign in their yard, without getting them removed, vandalized, and even burned down! The people acting out these acts of violence are full of hatred, anger, and a complete lack of joy and peace! It’s terribly sad to see happening all around our great nation! The government is forcing mask mandates and even scarier, shutting down our religious freedoms, by shutting down our churches! We need the church! Without the church, our very foundation is headed to extinction and the Father of Lies “Satan himself” is behind the very movement! This is control of a very overt and scary form! Satan is attempting to lead us to a place of chaos, conflict, and I believe complete disunity down the middle! I’m warning people now, I’m not the type to announce prophetic words onto the world, but my spirit is discerning hard days coming soon!
Days of persecution, tremendous fear, and absolute chaos are among us and most of us are asleep to it! WAKE UP!!! Christians or so-called “Christians” are falling for the movement for the sake of being “woke” and aren’t paying attention to the demonic agenda under the surface! This is a Satanic agenda that far too many aren’t paying attention to and are falling for the “woke” movement in the worse way! We must be aware! We must stand up and fight! Religious freedom, political freedom, freedom of speech is no longer tolerated by a vast majority of people; Except when it comes from the side their on! This is frightening people! This should terrify you!
Our forefathers fought considerably for the freedom’s we have today! Sadly, I believe we’re headed back into a time of having our freedom thwarted. In fact, we’ve had many of our freedom’s threatened for many many years and most people are blind to it! To stand for God’s word and principles is no longer tolerated and is considered “hate speech”, and God’s word is the only way to truth and true freedom! Satan knows this and is pushing the narative stronger than ever! He’s called the master manipulator in scripture for a reason!
We can “feel” powerful emotions and they often feel like truth! Friends, feelings are fickle and can’t be trusted! We must have a steady guide, a moral compass, and the only one we have is God’s word! Anytime inconsistencies are prevalent, Satan is behind it! This is a plea from a fellow sister in Christ!
I am warning you today, that life as we know it is soon to change drastically and you won’t know what hit you! I’m not looking forward to these days, I’m frightened at my core, but I also know dark days are prophesied in the end days in scripture! I’m gearing up for the battle, just as Jesus geared up for dying on that Old Rugged Cross! It was gruesome, terrifying, and outright scary… It was the Father’s will!
Jesus was prepared! Friends, I’m fearful most of us aren’t! Time to get ready! Life as we know it will be drastically changing! When we are prepared for the battle ahead, there is no fear! Jesus wasn’t fearful, because he was ready for the battle that was before him!
The intention of this post isn’t to scare you, but warn you to be equipped for the battle’s that inevitably lie ahead! An army ill equipped and unprepared should be terrified! Given the proper warning we have time to prepare! The question is… Will you heed the warning and get right with God and prepare your heart for the battle ahead? Will you quiet your heart and ask God to show you the truth? The choice is yours! Fear or preparedness? I choose preparedness and proper training by the best trainer ever known, The Lord and Savior!
Praying for you today! Praying for our nation! Praying for our world!
2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.”
I woke up early this morning to vote with my husband and my 18 year old son! It was an exciting day for many reasons. The most exciting part of today was being able to vote the first time with my 18 year old son, who has a tremendous love for God and a great passion for politics.
Shortly after arriving home and getting the pulled pork in the crock pot for dinner, I sat down and noticed a deep sense of peace in my spirit! As I sat on the couch in the living room, a verse came to my heart and mind. I couldn’t think of a more fitting verse for Election Day 2020.
Philippians 4:6 & “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Several nights ago and over the past several months, I’ve encountered anxiety over the results from today’s election. The world is watching, because they know the condition of America drastically impacts the rest of the world! This day is a momentous occasion in our great nation! There is much resting on today’s election, therefore it is a time for considerable prayer and fasting!
I found myself surprised this morning by the level of peace I felt in my soul! I was shocked by the level of peace I felt in my spirit, as I sat down to pray, read my Bible, and think.
My spirit is at rest… Why??? Because, I know I’ve done my part. I’ve done what God has called me to do regarding the election. I’ve seen thousands and thousands of others doing their part and I know we’ve fought the good fight! I know the rest is up to God! The outcome of the election will be a result of God’s greater plan, which our human finite minds can’t possibly fathom or comprehend.
Therefore, today I can sit back, pray, and rest in God! In fact today I plan to relax and take it easy! Regardless of the election results, I know that tomorrow morning will come and with it a peace that surpasses all understanding, because I know that God is in control!
My heart breaks for the millions of Americans who are finding their spirits overcome with fear and anxiety as they await the results of today’s election. I want to encourage you to be sensitive and understanding with others, regardless of the side you find yourself on, many people will feel a wide array of emotions… From excitement to devastation! Let’s be Jesus to those who are hurting and help one another and encourage each other! This is what the gospel is all about, loving God and loving each other! Our two greatest commandments are to love God and love one another!
“God is not the author of confusion. God is the author or peace and a sound mind!”
Praying you will have peace in your spirit today! Praying for mercy for our country! Praying for the results of the election!
This evening I am reminiscing of the days when I didn’t care about politics. Remembering the ease of “ignorance and not caring”. Recalling my younger years when politics didn’t keep me awake with anxiety at night. Although it was easier to be ignorant to political issues, it wasn’t where God wanted us to be.
We need to understand the political culture and the implications of political agendas. We shouldn’t be obsessed, but we should be in the know! We must know how to pray! We must understand and have knowledge of the condition of our nation, in order to know how to pray! In order to know how to pray, we must have knowledge and understanding of politics. Even if it causes us a little extra anxiety, this way we have a deep yearning to pray for our nation!
Over the next several days as election day approaches, I will be praying fervently! Any angst I endure, I will use for passion to lead me to the cross to pray for our country! Please join me in praying for our country over the next two days and continuing into the following weeks, months, and years ahead.
Romans 13:1 “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”