Seeing Beauty in Our Self-ies

I’m not a fan of selfies! Actually, let me be more specific! I’m not a fan of my selfies. I love seeing the selfies of my friends on Facebook. Love seeing a new hairstyle and seeing their smiles! When I see the unique beauty on the faces of my friends, I see God’s wonderful artistry, and I’m in awe of God’s creativity.

1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

I am capable of seeing the beauty in others, but then again I’m not typically in a place of judging their every possible flaw. Yet, every time I take a selfie of myself, I am overly critical of my physical flaws.

“My eyes are squinted, you need to lose weight, look at those wrinkles, girl, you’re getting a double chin, look at that dent in in your nose, in fact the entire nose is not good, that scar on your eye, and you’re getting old!” OUCH!

Guess what??? I’m not alone! How do I know? I counsel countless young ladies, men, and women. I’ve never met a single person who wasn’t highly critical of themselves.

I am my own worst enemy! “We” are our own worst enemy! If we think such awful things about ourselves, then Satan convinces us that everyone around us thinks the same thing!

Except, narcissistic individuals, this another entire topic. The nature of narcissism is extreme insecurity, redirected through the lens of grandiosity, arrogance, and looking down on other people.

Back to those of us who tend to be overly critical of ourselves. Why??? I see people with looks on all sides of the spectrum of beauty. Homecoming queens to people with physical abnormalities. In addition, I see people with all levels of success and popularity.

There’s always a universal theme, they think their “not good enough”.

Common misbeliefs “I’m not pretty enough, handsome enough, successful enough, popular enough, smart enough, etc.

I’ve come to realize something that may come as shock to a culture that values beauty, success, popularity, and intelligence above all else. The problem with self-esteem and self-worth has NOTHING to do with beauty, success, popularity, or intelligence. NOTHING!

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

The problems rests in “what we’re placing our worth in”. If our worth is in looks or worldly popularity we will always find low self-worth. In fact, if our worth and value is in anything this world has to offer we will always find ourselves empty, sad, discontent, anxious, depressed, and deeply discouraged.

I’m a realist and I know that at times the world around us is cruel and judgmental. If our value and worth is in Jesus Christ, even when the world is cruel and judgmental, my worth will remain in tact. I may be hurt momentarily, but my anchor will hold me securely! With God as my anchor, I may be shaken, but will never be overtaken!

Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.”

Friends, Satan will attack! It will come from our own negative thoughts, attacks from other people, and the overall brokenness rampant in the world we live in.

If I am content in who God created me… His purpose for my life… His affection for me… His unconditional love for me… His fondness of me, as His beloved child… I will remain steadfast in my mission to glorify, serve, and praise God!

When I see myself through the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father who created me in His image and sent His son to die for me… I will find myself more content and joyful.

I commit myself to seeing my value in God! I will thank Him for the selfies of today, rather than overly criticize and allow Satan to distract me from God’s plans and purposes!

Today, I will see the beauty in my selfies, because this is “me” and God created me and loves me just as I am! I’m completely okay with that! What about you?

Blessings, Crystal


Praising God through the Psalms

Praising God with Psalms as I begin my week! I am especially thankful for God’s provisions and guidance in the life of myself and my family members! I can rejoice because of Jesus! My circumstances do not define my ability to have comfort, peace, or joy! I am thankful that the Lord still offers circumstantial and present blessings, joy, and provisions! Have a great day in the Lord this week! Blessings, Crystal


How To Deal With Life’s Uncertainty

Personally, I feel that uncertainty is the scariest aspect of life! In the midst of uncertainty, nothing feels certain or graspable, and the future is always completely unpredictable! The funny thing is that nothing in this world is ever certain… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Over the last two years, our family has seen this ugly and hard to swallow fact of life in vivid detail! Loss of loved one’s, unexpected job transitions, moving to a new state, and much more!

The only thing I’ve encountered in this world that is certain and constant is my Heavenly Father! Jobs, relationships, friendships, finances, health, and everything this world has to offer is all filled with a level of unknown! The agnostic life style literally terrifies me, as it leaves out the only certain aspect of living in a difficult world, the love and provision of God!

Currently, the future in many ways seems more unclear than normal, but I am reminded that nothing is ever perfectly planned, organized, or certain!

“Life’s what happens when you have other plans!”

I’ve always hated this saying, especially when it was said to me countless times during the days of my youth! The times it was said, was rarely in love and empathy, but rather… “Yea, life is hard! Accept it and get over it!” Yet, the statement is absolute truth!

For example, I wasn’t planning to get an unkind message from an extended family member again this evening! I wasn’t planning to lose my grandmother in the midst of a pandemic, when I had very little time to see her over the last year! Nor was I planning for a ton of oil to spill on our driveway this afternoon! Life just happens! The good, the bad, the joy, the sad, and the frustrating! Life is complete with a wide array of emotions!

In my attempt to control my life and the world around me, I realize what little control I actually have over life’s happenings! I control to feel safe, secure, and to feel empowered over the powerlessness of this life! During the times when life spins out of my control, I grasp for certainty, assurance, comfort, promises, answers, and security! Other than temporary and false fulfillment, without God life is dim, scary, meaningless, and overwhelming! Without maintaining my focus on God’s love and his promises, there is absolutely no assurance!

“The farther I get from God, the more anxious I become!”

Being a Christian doesn’t make me immune to life’s trials, I still face uncertainty, fear, powerlessness, and frustration. Through Christ, I have assurance of my salvation, knowledge and wisdom to endure the difficult trials before me, and comfort to face the losses and difficulties of life! I have everything I need through my Heavenly Father!

Friends, if you’re walking through fear and uncertainty, I encourage you to take your focus off the world and look to God! He will sustain you and will be your ever present help in times of trouble!

Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

Blessings, Crystal

1 Corinthians 15:57 “ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”


God’s Truths When You’ve Been Hurt

Amazing how Satan plans attacks when we’re already weakened. A family member, who I do not communicate with because she is quite toxic and full of anger, completely and out of the blue, for no reason at all sent me a FB message. This isn’t the first time this person has verbally assaulted me, in the message she attempted to trash my character, claimed she knew my “evil” thoughts and motives on certain matters, even brought up completely untrue things, just to ensure my heart was sliced deeply. Which it was! Although, this message hit hard and definitely broke my heart and caused me many tears, it also lead me to Jesus in prayer. Which was refreshing and healing!

I lay here in the other side of the hurt, unable to sleep, as God reminded me several profound truths. I wanted to write them out, as I’m certain I’m not alone in having someone hurt me with a verbal thrashing and the pain it can leave behind. I thought, perhaps
there’s someone else out there who has endured the foul side of another’s bad day. If someone has been unkind to you, it is my hope and prayer that you find peace in these truths.

Truths Revealed During My Prayer Time

1.) People project their feelings toward themself onto others.

I know this is exactly what happened tonight. The hatred and anger has nothing to do with me, but their own world of pain. I have walked away from the dysfunction, simply because it is a form of toxicity that is hazardous to one’s mental health. Thus, I’m not around enough to create such hatred and bitterness. God reminded of of the true condition of their hearts, lost, empty, defeated, and without hope. He whispered to my heart… Pray for her!

Mathew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

2.). My identity is in Jesus Christ’s unconditional love and acceptance of me.

My identity is not in the defeating untruths poured onto me. I belong to Jesus! He is the only one who has a say in my value and worth! I will rest in His promises and in His unconditional love for me! I will not allow Satan’s attack to shred my ability to serve God whole-heartedly!

Galatians 2:20 “ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

3.) My only job is to love, serve, and please God!

It is not my job to make sure everyone is happy with me. It is my job to treat people in a Christ-like manner and show His love to this se in need.

In fact, living for Jesus has a way of making many people unhappy and insecure. Jesus was perfect and most wanted him crucified. I live for Him, should I expect less, even though His word says; “We will be persecuted for His sake.”

Galations 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

4.) People will have to answer for the sins they commit on this Earth. It may feel like they get off Scott free when they attack with such hatred and you refrain from “giving it to them”. It wouldn’t help! Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way! God will take care of it and I can hand it over to him.

Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

5.) Never lose hope! I’ve spent many years praying for my family members to repent and turn their hearts to God! At times, especially after getting these nasty grams, it can begin to feel hopeless. Yet, we are called to never lose hope!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 “Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

Friends, Having people spew hatred, bitterness, and lies at you is extremely painful! I know this all too well! I am thankful that God knows what we’re feeling and identifies with our heartache and is always ready to comfort us and show us his loving truths!

Hebrews 4:14 & 15 “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet he did not sin.”

May you be comforted, as I was comforted by our loving Heavenly Father!

Blessings, Crystal


Grandma’s Legacy

Thought I was ready to say goodbye. Years of watching you suffer made me cry.

You told me you were ready. Month after month your balance grew more unsteady.

Slowly, I watched your body decline. When we’d visit you were always on cloud nine.

You provided plenty of love and wisdom. You were my greatest support system.

We used to talk on the phone for hours everyday. We always had a lot to say.

You showed your love with your deeds. Always made sure to meet my needs.

Popcorn stories before bed and making paper hats. I will always cherish our many long chats.

So many precious memories. Sharing our dreams, singing songs, talking, and drawing our most beautiful trees.

You were always caring and sentimental. Grandma, you sure made my life special!

Thank you for giving me your best. Because of you, my life was truly blessed!

Grandma, you deserve the shiniest crown. And Heaven’s finest gown.

Until we meet in Heaven’s jubilee! I will forever be your legacy.

RIP Grandma Dorothy! 5/3/1932 – 1/5/21. Until I See You Again!

It’s not goodbye! It’s see you later!


Until I See You Again In Heaven

Tuesday, January 5th @ 7:24 p.m. my sweet grandmother crossed over into Heaven! I haven’t been able to post about her loss and my heart has been shattered.

I’m still not quite ready to put into words exactly how I feel since her passing. Primarily, because a emptiness has causes a tremendous heaviness and pain within my heart!

I was blessed to be there and hold her hand, as she left this old world and took Jesus’s hand! My heart is grieving, which is a sign that I was loved by my grandmother! The two of us had a very special bond! I was lucky to have the most amazing grandmother in the world!

RIP Grandma Dorothy

5/3/1932 – 1/5/21

“We do not grieve like those with no hope!”

Blessings, Crystal


Happy New Year 2021

Happy New Year and welcome 2021! As I ponder the farewell of 2020, I am overcome
with emotion! An entire year is filled with abundant memories; Many positive and many difficult!

The last 1 1/2 years our family has faced significant trials, trauma, heartache, transition, and many hardships. This all endured in the midst of Covid hitting and the world being shaken up and everything literally being turned upside down. I recall on January 1st of 2020 telling a friend that I was more than glad to say goodbye to 2019. God immediately convicted my heart. “Crystal, yes 2019
was an extremely difficult year, but I have been good! Think about all the blessings this year brought!” I took note of the firm but gentle message from the Lord and he began showing me his heart!

The latter half of 2019 was traumatic for me and my family, as my niece (who was much like a daughter) was hit by a car and was in a coma for 6 months and passed away in December of 2019. Despite the intensity of the tribulation of 2019, God was still faithful! Thus, my new year’s resolution for 2020 was to see the good gifts from God, even in the midst of painful circumstances!

I wish I could say that 2020 was a breeze, much to the contrary! 2020 brought with it a plethora of painful circumstances and difficult transitions! However, I hung to God’s conviction to continue to see the good in the midst of trials! To never fail to see God’s provision in the midst of painful circumstances! It sure is easy to lose sight of God when life is filled with stressful situations and broken hearts!

True to his promise, God remained faithful in the midst of every trial that occurred in 2020! One thing that I’ve come to see over the past several tumultuous years, is that in the midst of trials, God blesses us in tremendous ways! We only have to pay attention to see God carrying us through the hardship surrounding our lives!

In the midst of suffering God has shown up in His word and quiet times, precious moments with family, beautiful nature, encouraging friends, fun-filled trips, unexpected blessings, always meeting our needs, and showing us that he is in control!

This year, I am not “happy” to see 2020 pass by! Despite, the fact that 2020 was filled with many valley’s! It was in fact a year of trials, learning, growing, and many stressful moments! God revealed in very real ways the spiritual realization, that it is in the valley’s we grow! The year 2020 was a year our family grew closer to God and one another, our marriage flourished, we came to realize our truest friends, our trials pushed us into the arms of Jesus, and God revealed that he alone is our only constant! 2020 also revealed that God sometimes asks us to leave our homes, only to see what we left for unravel before our eyes! Leaving us questioning His plans and reasoning! Yet, God is faithful and His plans for his children are for us to prosper and never to harm us! I know this much, God has a plan! One day we will see it fully, for now we trust that He knows what he’s doing!

I don’t have all the answers and I certainly can’t read into the future; I can trust with 100 percent certainty, that God is faithful and he works all things out for the good of those who love Him!

Sadly, I say goodbye to 2020! I gladly welcome 2021! It would sure be nice to endure a mountain top experience for awhile. However, if God chooses to allow more valley’s; I know we will be just fine! God’s plans are always the best! He really does love His children and desire for us to prosper and serve and love him solely and completely!

New Year’s spiritual Resolution for 2021… “To trust that God is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do!”

I will pray hard! I will continue living for God! Trusting Him and His plans for our lives! Knowing that He has us on a path, a path that was especially prepared for those who follow him!

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for you to prosper and never to harm you!”

Romans 8:28 “All things work for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose!”

Blessings, Crystal


Grieving During the Holidays

The past several days , with the holidays, I have been thinking a lot about my niece Catelyn! This time last year she had been in a coma for 4 months and we were beginning to say our goodbyes, as her body began failing. Her accident was life-changing for me… Seeing her the first time lying lifeless in that hospital bed, was the most traumatic moment of my life! I’ve spent hours and hours in therapy processing the trauma from her accident and her loss. Thankfully, I have found peace and healing… But the grieve doesn’t go away! It is a life long journey learning to live without someone you loved!
This young lady was more than a niece, she was more like a daughter! She was born when I was 11 years old and I pretty much raised her, as her mother and my mother lived their lives for themselves! I took care of her as an infant, taught her to walk and talk. Sadly, I resented her at times, because her birth in many ways meant the end of my childhood. Trust me, this was short-lived! When I moved out of the house at age 16, God quickly convicted my heart, that this sweet girl needed me! I tried to make it home every weekend during my college years to ensure she made it to church. She wanted to be like her aunt Crystal! She told others and I was so proud to be someone she could really look up to! I never wanted her to be like me, I only wanted her to become who the woman God created her to be! This was always my prayer for her! There wasn’t a part of my life she wasn’t part of and the photo albums prove this fact! She lived with us for a year when she was in high school. The memories are abundant! Tears still flow when I see her pictures and recall the countless memories we shared together! We lived through many hardships, precious moments and tender moments together!
Sadly, Catelyn and I often had a tough relationship as she grew older and made decisions that she knew I didn’t approve of… This is the stuff that haunted me after her death! The very thing that grieved me the most! I have peace over these difficult years and know that this old unGodly world, has a way of trying to destroy God’s perfect plan! The enemy won many battles, but he didn’t win the war! She is with Jesus! We made peace and I am forever grateful for the final moments to have shared love, hearts, and most importantly I was able to for the final time share Jesus with her!
I NEVER stopped loving her or praying for her! I NEVER gave up hope that she would get her life together and surrender to God’s will for her life! Sadly, this hope and prayer never came to fruition on this side of Heaven. This makes me sad… I know one thing for sure… If love could save a life, my sweet girl wouldn’t have died so young! She’d be living a confident, joyful, and happy life today! I give God thanks that she will be in Heaven and I will see her again one day! The relationship will be perfect! I look forward to hugging her and telling her how proud of her I am! Her last moments will be forever cherished! Even though my heart ached… broke… and struggled to even catch a breath.
I miss you, Catelyn Michelle! My heart still grieves your loss and breaks every time I remember that your gone! I thank God for the times we shared together and the many memories we shared together! I am sad and miss you terribly! Your little girl face will forever be ingrained in my mind!
Holidays have a way of bringing loss and grief to the forefront. Praying for all those who have lost someone special to them!


Letting Go

This amazing man started a new job this week! He is working for Thrasher Foundation & Repair in Springfield. He traveled the first week and drove all over Missouri and Kansas and was gone for several days.

It was so very hard for this momma to let her child go and I fought emotion the entire week. I know holding him back wouldn’t have been God’s plan! Letting go is the HARDEST part of being a momma! I worried and took my worries to God in prayer and I did this about a hundred times since he left on Wednesday morning for his first week of work. A few times I got ready and my heart was overwhelmed with the grief of watching your child leave the nest. I’m thankful he’s not completely leaving the nest yet and he’s leaving for a few days and coming back.

There was tremendous joy, as I heard his stories and observed the excitement he had about getting such an awesome job!

I am so very proud to have such an awesome young man for A son! I am proud of the way he makes the world a better place, with his Love for God, people, and bringing kindness to a world in desperate need!

Great job, son! I’m proud of you! Robert Ridlon