The Flame Within

I read this book to all my children and started when they were little babies. I don’t remember the last time one of them or all of them at once sat on my lap while I read them this book. Wow, I was so very blessed! I still am! They loved it, I loved it, and it was because they knew I meant the words deep into my being, they knew if then and they know it now. The same is true today….

As a child and a teenager, I went to bed every night truly feeling unloved and unwanted. I made a decision that my kids would “NEVER” have to know that feeling. Even when they were in the worst trouble, even when their words and actions hurt my feelings, even when we were not “getting along”, even when they were angry, I never withheld my love, this became our norm. To love well, meant we shared true feelings openly, then we apologized and hugged. Same is true today.

My oldest child will be getting married in just a few hours, The words to this sweet book keep coming to my head.

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”

It will certainly look different as they grow up and will look extremely different on the other side of marriage.

I understand the depth of a mother’s love… I live it daily. Sometimes it’s wonderful and easy. Other times it’s a true act of denying my flesh for the betterment of my child, true motherhood requires faith, sacrifice, grit, forgiveness, laughter, joy, affection, grace, and Jesus. The only way to truly let go of our children as they grow up and live their story … is with God’s help and a momma’s love.

A momma’s unconditional love digs deep inside and pushes down our own wants, fears, concerns, and needs, for the sake of letting our children grow up and live the life God has in store, and steps back just enough to allow them to fully live their life.

So for now, I cherish the precious words of a book I read to my children a thousand times…. Because, this momma’s love runs deep. I know I have done my job successfully, because my children never had to go to bed wondering if they were loved, they knew and know daily that they are loved deeply. (Sometimes too much, I’d rather error on the side of love, than negligence.) This was my primary goal and my heart’s desire. Still is today.

In love…. A momma’s love… I pass the paton to the next woman who will love my son.

Please forgive me while I work out the kinks, because this kind of love doesn’t get it perfectly right when they turn 18, or when they move out, when they go to camp, when they have their first boy/ girlfriend, when they first drive a car by themself, or walk to the mall alone, or even when they walk down the aisle. This kind of love knows the duty and sets out to do the right thing and this process is a journey… it doesn’t just know what or how to let go perfectly, right away. It’s a journey, not a destination, this is what I tell my clients about healing.

A momma’s heart, I suppose is always in state of healing, mixed with excitement, joy, and pride for the future.

Congratulations to my amazing son, on his wedding day, you have one lucky bride. Your a catch, because you are the real deal, committed, loyal, fun, friendly, always wanting to live right, and you love God… just like your dad.

Today, I pass the Paton to your bride, to love you, cherish you, and honor you. To be the woman in your life. Your greatest supporter, encourager, and always point you to Jesus.

Today, as hard as it will be, I will step back and allow your bride to step forward as the most important woman in your life. That’s why this is so hard, because I take the calling very seriously, because I know it’s so vitally important to the recipe of a lifelong love and marriage. This is my heart’s prayer, that your marriage will be strong, a safe haven, and she will always be your soul mate and your very best friend. The one who holds you and you hold during the joys and trials this life contains.

And… please …. make sure the two of you never allow the other to wonder if they are loved.

It is my prayer that your marriage will always have it’s foundation firm in Christ, because that is the only way to have a love that lasts.

Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

Congratulations,

Love, Mom