The Flame Within

Mother’s Day Feels Different This Year: A Mother and Grieving Daughter’s Reflection on Gratitude, Loss, Grief, and Grace

Mother’s Day has always been a sweet and sacred day in my life—a day to gather, hug tightly, share stories, and feel the warmth of family. This year Mother’s Day feels different, because it consists of several firsts. This is the first year I won’t have all four of my children with me on my special day. It is the first year I no longer have a mother living with me on this Earth, she passed away 10 months ago. I always called my mom on Mother’s Day and this year I won’t be able to hear her voice. I always think about my mother on Mother’s Day and this year the thinking process is quite different. It sounds a lot like grief, sadness, shock, and a reminder of how times change and people are not on this Earth forever.

As the day has progressed and now Mother’s Day is upon me, I realize my emotional state, a little somber with sadness sprinkled in. It makes sense to feel a mix of grief and sadness; And this would be the first thing I’d say to a client if they shared a similar experience. In fact, I’d tell them that if they weren’t a little sad, I’d be more concerned. Grief and sadness are a natural part of loss. This is life and it comes complete with a mixed bag of joy and pain.

This year, the table will be quieter, the phone calls fewer, and my heart will feel the ache of absence. This ache is painful, but I am reminded in the midst of my grieving of what a wonderful life I’ve been given. The gift of being a mom and being blessed with the most amazing four children; Four outstanding humans who are resilient, kind, fun, hilarious, entertaining, and loving. I am extremely grateful. I am blessed!

In the midst of this tender season, God’s faithfulness is my anchor. Even though, life is ever-changing, I am comforted knowing that God never changes. His love is steadfast and constant. He is an ever-present help in times of trouble and His presence is always with me.

Losing my mother has brought a depth to Mother’s Day I never anticipated. This first year without her has reminded me how deeply we can love and how deeply we grieve those we loved. I’m comforted by 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, which calls God “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.” His comfort has been my steady companion. When I grieve those who’ve gone before, I have hope knowing my loved ones are no longer suffering, I know they are with Jesus, and they are in a place of perfect peace.

This year I’m realizing and learning how to manage Mother’s Day not having all my children together. I’m also reminded that this is only the beginning; as children are meant to grow up and move into the lives God has in store for them. As children grow, life naturally changes. They move away, build their own homes, and take on new responsibilities. While my heart will always long for them to be near, I will celebrate the fullness of their lives and the people they are becoming.

Mother’s Day, was once filled with the sound of little feet, homemade breakfasts I had to force myself to eat, and handmade cards. I cherish these memories, I’ve sure been blessed in this life. Mother’s Day will sometimes include texts, video calls, and memories from afar. It will be different this year, but it’s still love. The bonds we developed will be the glue that holds us together for the rest of our lives.

Motherhood is a holy gift, a gift from God. The sleepless nights, the messy kitchens, the heartfelt talks, the quiet moments, I cherish every moment and they are all precious. Psalm 127:3 reminds us that “children are a heritage from the Lord.” Even when we’re not physically together, the bond God created between mother and child endures. I wasn’t with my mom
when she passed onto her Heavenly home; but my spirit woke up the moment of her passing in the night and I knew she was gone. It was surreal and symbolic of the bond of mother and child.

This Mother’s Day, I’m choosing gratitude. Gratitude for every season I’ve had with my children. Gratitude for the mother who raised me and was in my life for 46 years. I choose gratitude for the moments—past and present—that remind me of God’s blessings.

We don’t know what tomorrow holds. That’s why “today” matters so much. Last Mother’s Day I didn’t know it would be my last year with my mom. I didn’t know we would move across the country and unable to be with our oldest son. So thankful I cherished last year’s Mother’s Day.

If this day is quiet for you, if someone is missing, if grief is sitting beside you, know that God sees you. Know that you are not alone! Mother’s Day is a wonderful and joyful time of celebration, but it often comes with mixed emotions of joy, gratitude, grief, excitement, sadness, longing, and sorrow.

If Mother’s Day is different, sad, or maybe a little lonely this year – Please remember, “He is near to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:18) You are not alone!

Mother’s Day may look different this year, but I am reminded that the meaning has only deepened for me. It’s not about perfection, there’s no such thing as a perfect mother. It’s about presence—Being present in moments with those you love. It’s about God’s presence in our lives. It’s about our presence in the lives of those we love, however we show up.

On this Mother’s Day 2025, I honor all mothers. I hold space for the ones grieving and the ones rejoicing; I hold space for those somewhere in the midst of transition and change. I give thanks to God for the sacred gift of being a mom, it’s the greatest job and honor of my life.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Blessings, Crystal