The Flame Within

I needed you.
I’ll never understand why you never needed me.

I longed for your love…
For your concern…
For your attention…
For you.

I just wanted you… My child.

You never wanted me.
Occasionally you told me you did.
You bragged of your love.
But your words never matched your actions.

Your actions speak painful words.
They always told me others were more important.
People, animals, addictions, cars, homes, stuff.
It’s true… Everything and everyone was more important.

I can’t understand… My child.

You search for love…
Through drugs, people, alcohol, your career, friends, stuff.
Why can’t you seek me…
My love.

I can’t understand.
I see your desire to be loved.
I know your heart intimately.
Every word… Facial expression… Emotion…every attempt to control.
Everything within you,
Screams… Love me!
Can someone please love me?

How did you never know… Never understand how I loved you.
How I longed for your heart.
I longed for you to love me.
Seek me?

You never wanted my love… You still don’t.

You threaten me with ultimatums.
You want me to show up.
Yet, when I do you are always somewhere else.
You’re never focused on me,
Your focus is always out there.
Anywhere but here… On me.

I finally understand.
After years of striving… Yearning… Desiring your heart.
I realize you will never Want… Desire… Choose my love.
My soul healing… Heart mending… Fulfilling love.

You’ll continue your life.
Seeking Happiness… Joy… Love… Fulfillment.
Chasing all worldly things.
Things that will leave your heart more vacant than before.

Will it ever be me?
My Son?
My love?
My word?
My life fulfilling cup?

Your desires to chase after the wind.
The men… The bars… The empty relationships… The addictions.
Your daily race,
Doesn’t include me.

Will you ever take an interest in me?
Who I am?
My Son?
What I love?
My kids?
My Word?
My unconditional love… For you?

Will you ever… Desire me?
Your Father.
Your creator?

Will you ever seek me?
My life fulfilling cup… The bread of life?
Drink from my cup… My child.
You will never be hungry or thirsty again.
Complete satisfaction can only be quenched through me.
Your Creator and Loving Heavenly Father.