The Flame Within

Everyone has bad days.
Today was one of my “bad days”.
I opened my eyes and felt the nasty pang “I’m going to cry!”
Went to church… All in attempt to serve God… And feel better.
Yet… I escaped to the ladies room to secretly wipe away the unwanted drops of emotion.
The last thing I wanted was for people to see my vulnerability.

You see… We live in a world of “individuality”.
We’re Americans.
We’re strong… Independent.
We’re Christians.
We’re strong… Independent.

We’re taught to smile and nod.
Never show weakness.
Never give in to defeat.
We need nothing or no one.
We’re never to ask for help.

We’re told to put a smile on our face.
To strive for more.
This need for more…
Leaves us lonely.
Reaching for empty securities.

What happened to the good old days.
The Andy Griffith kind of days.
Mingling in the streets.
Neighbors helping neighbors.
Singing to a softly strumming guitar on the neighbor’s white picketed porch.

Maybe I’m discontent.
Attempting to attain an unreachable level of friendliness.
I yearn for simplicity.
Drinking lemonade in the shade.
Swimming in the ole’ creek bed.

Today feels so complicated.
Can’t say anything.
For the fear of offending another.
Can’t do anything.
For the fear of being judged.

Simple… Lemonade kind of days.
Are they too much to ask for?
Maybe… I’m longing for Heaven.
Desiring the “belongingness” of my Heavenly home.
To be in the God’s Holy presence.

For now…
I’ll take time to drink “sugary” lemonade.
I’ll rest in the shade with my family.
Scripture in hand…
I’ll take time to soak in the pleasantries of the gift of life.