Forever Changed

 

Lord, you stirred up the perfect storm in the bellows of my soul…

Your created within me, a divine intervention.

A spiritual connection… so deep… so strong… so complete…

 

The moment…

My life-long protective wall collapsed.

The dam broke…

The tears surged.

Despite my attempt to hold back the tears…

The years of pent up emotions…

Gushed out of my heart.

 

In my healing…

I felt broken.

Pain…

Emotions…

Wholeness.. 

 

Unprepared to handle this spontaneous surge of emotions.

Leaving me vulnerable…

My vulnerability displayed for the world to see…

The world that originally wounded my heart.

 

In a moment’s notice my wall shattered to the ground.

Leaving me feeling…

Naked…

Healed…

Scared…

Unprepared…

And FOREVER changed.

 

What does all this mean for my future?

Will I allow another personal fortress around my soul?

Will I know God’s love deep enough… to remain vulnerable to the world?

 

Lord, In all honesty.

I liked my protective wall.

I felt secure behind it.

Where do I go from here?

As much as I miss the wall,

I love this new… whole… and beautiful connection that has taken it’s place.

The unconditional love… of Christ.

 

Lord, you have proven your love to me.

You have shown me that my trust is safe with you.

I will trust!  

I will have faith!

I will not be afraid to feel!

 

How, Lord, can I describe the change you’ve completed in the darkest places of my heart.

How can I possibly, state in words, the depths of this pain… love… healing…

How can I share this overwhelming sense of love…  

A familiar love in unbearable doses.

 

Perhaps… There is no need to say a word.

Perhaps…

The world will see the change.

My family will feel the change.

 

Gratitude…

From the depths of my heart…

Renewed!

Changed!

In love… With the creator of my soul.

The ultimate counselor of my broken heart.

The healer of my pain!

 

Me….

Forever changed.

 

 

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