The Flame Within

This past March I heeded the calling of the Lord, leading me into Christian counseling.  In March I began taking courses in the process of earning a graduate degree.  Yesterday, I began taking two new courses, this would make my 8th and 9th course.  As I sit here this afternoon, feeling the all too familiar “fears and anxieties” associated with the beginning of new classes, I realize my utter dependence on God for strength.  I recall his initial heeding, His gentle and relentless tug on my heart, and His guidance throughout the application process and the overwhelming anxiety I felt as I began this “huge” endeavor in the first place.  I remember my personal counselor saying, “Crystal, don’t try to walk through all the doors at once.  God will open one door at a time.  The other doors are closed, until God calls you to enter through them”  

I keep following, trusting, and have observed these predestined doors being opened at just the right time.  However, at the start of each new class, I feel the doubt of Paul, when he walked on the water…  I feel like Moses, being called to guide the Israelites out of Egypt, I relate to Noah running from Neneveh. Today… the doubt, fear, and anxiety has been working overtime as I overlook the course requirements, papers, and quizzes.  This fear is real, it maintains the potential to scare me off running.  Satan is sly like that…  It amazes me how he will go to all extents to scare us away from obeying God’s call!  Satan “certainly” does not want me guiding hurting sheep to the unconditional love of the cross.  

Will I allow Satan to scare me out of God’s calling over my life?  Will I allow Satan to make me a quitter?  

I WILL obey God!  I WILL cry out to Him in my despair!  I WILL seek needed strength from God’s unending pool!  I will call out to Him for help!  I WILL “Trust and Obey”!  For there’s no other way!

Deuteronomy 13 & 14 “It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him”

1 Peter 4:11 “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

Dearest Father in Heaven,

      I thank you for your love and guidance!  Lord, I know I am following in many of your servant’s footsteps and cowering in fear.  Lord, I need your help!  I need your peace!  I need your wisdom!  I need you to help me to accomplish the next task you’ve set before me!  Lord, I know I am frail, not smart enough, and I need you to guide me!  Like so many who’ve gone before, I am completely reliant on you to walk this path with me.  Lord, be my strength!  

Your Beloved Daughter, 

Crystal