The Flame Within

Sometimes peace is found through the most unexpected means and strangely in a manner you may have least hoped to acquire it.

This week, peace came to me through a broken heart.  It’s true…  My heart was crushed… And peace was the end result.

The scriptures states, “As far as it is among you, be at peace with all men!” Thus, I made a difficult phone call, in the attempt to reconcile a relationship.  The reconciliation I sought, was not mutual…  In fact, my heart was broken.  Uncontrollable sobs escaped my heart…  Yet, the sobs were healing an escape for pent up emotions buried deep inside…  Although, the reconciliation was not mutual, I made myself vulnerable to heart break and took responsibility for faulty behaviors on my behalf.  

As hard as it was to humble myself to admit my deepest feelings, fears, and pain…  As hard as it was for my vulnerability to be stomped on by embittered words…  As hard as it was to not find desired reconciliation after such a phone conversation, in the end my personal “bitterness” vanished.  Where bitterness had once taken up space deep within my heart, peace replaced the feelings of anger, bitterness, discomfort, and pain.  The end result…  Peace…  “The peace that passes all understanding”!  

In the end peace, healing, and unity wasn’t achieved.  However, peace, healing, and unity was achieved in my heart.  All that mattered was that God’s “peace” was ultimately attained, even if it is was only within my own heart.  

One day I will stand before the throne and face God…

If I seek Him in the process of taking ownership for my failures, seek reconciliation amongst others, and most importantly seek His will in loving, forgiving, and living…  I can find peace.  

I must realize… and I must remind myself often…  That I am not perfect, those around me are not perfect, and healthy relationships require ownership of mistakes and an ability to “truly” forgive.  

{Living a life of deep-rooted bitterness only poisons the soul, but a heart determined to forgive is a heart at rest.}  

Bitterness utterly poisons the soul…  It’s a painful and horrible way to live.

I want a heart at rest…  A peaceful heart.

Only a heart filled with the Holy Spirit maintains the ability to love completely and forgive whole-heartedly.  As God is the only source of unconditional love and forgiveness.  A heart longing to be more and more filled with God’s spirit, is a heart capable of unconditional love and forgiveness.  I can rest assured his final words to me will be…  “Well done my good and faithful servant.”  Romans 12:8 “As far as it is up to you, live at peace with all men.”  

As far as it is among me…  I am going to trust God to guide me into the process of living at peace with all men!

Dear Lord,

      I praise you for you are amazingly peaceful!  I thank you that you have designed in your word a path to attaining peace deep inside my heart.  I thank you for guiding me through the necessary steps for replacing the bitterness that was poisoning my soul, with the peace that surpasses all understanding.  Lord, I thank you for loving me so much, and for always being available to pour wisdom over me.  I thank you for the peace I feel in my spirit.  I thank you that even though reconciliation may not always be a possibility on Earth, reconciliation and unconditional peace is a “very real” possibility in my heart, due to your unconditional love and forgiveness.  Thank you for being the God who saved my soul and still finds time to handle my brokenness.  

Your Daughter, Crystal