The Flame Within

Happy Birthday Robby!  

12 years ago, you were first placed in my arms.  You were the most beautiful little red-headed baby I had ever seen.  I looked at you perfectly round cheeks and your thin baby soft red-hair and realized for the first time, “I’m a mom!”.  I instantly loved you!  Loved you with a love so deep and strong, it amazed me.  The sudden “overwhelming” sense of responsibility I felt in those precious few moments of hearing my very own baby crying, excited me and scared me!  I knew that the rest of my life would be dedicated to loving and protecting you!

Robby I wish I could say that you made my transition into mother easy, but I would be lying.  You were one tough baby!  The moment the doctors laid you on my chest, you began screaming.  Patient, you certainly WERE NOT!  God’s given “Mommy’s” milk, didn’t meet your expectations for a quick tummy filling up, so you screamed until the nurses broke down and gave you a bottle.  The bottle became your preferred nourishment and it broke my heart!

The moment we walked into our humble little home, you began screaming.  When you were hungry, you were downright HUNGRY and you wanted to eat RIGHT NOW!  I can’t count how many times you screamed and held your breath until you passed out, waiting for your bottle, which never took me more than 2 minutes to make.  

Mommy and Daddy didn’t sleep more than a few hours at a time, until well after you turned 3 years old.  Daddy and tried to let you scream it out and we soon realized this boy can scream, one night you screamed for 3 hours and still would have continued to scream had I not taken you out of your crib.

When you were 5 months old, yes truly 5 months old, I was trying to clean the bathroom and you kept scooting into the bathroom.  I put up a gate to keep you out of the bathroom, you began kicking that gate, and I’m not kidding you, you kicked the gate down.  

At 13 months old you crawled out of your bed and you never took a nap again!

When you were almost 3, you fell asleep in the hallway.  Daddy moved you to your bed at 12 a.m. and you woke up throwing the biggest 3 hour tantrum and flat out refusing to get in your bed.  That morning, mommy finally went to bed at 6 a.m.

Let’s just say you my son, you had ONE STRONG SPIRIT!

Robby, I thank you for those tough days!  I thank you for the stress and the tears often pouring out of this momma’s eyes.  You Robby, made me a “good” momma!  You taught me what it meant to be a mom!  You forced me, literally FORCED me to run to God for help! God came through for me many times and provided much needed answers as to how to deal with your tough little spirit.

Looking back, I wish I knew then, what I know now!  I wish I knew how to laugh, when you ran through mud.  I wish I knew how to divert, instead of fight to teach you obedience.  I wish I knew how to STOP and just hold you when you threw massive temper tantrums, instead of throwing a bigger temper tantrum with you.  I wish I would have looked for more opportunities to tickle away your fierce determination to touch a knick-knack, instead of smacking your tiny little hands to teach you the meaning of “no”!

Robby, I was new at this whole mom thing!  You my son, being the first born were the guinea pig, and we’re learning through parenting you.  

Robby you turned 12 today!  Today we enter another unknown, the teenage years!  I pray that God guides my mothering skills and I offer more grace and patience throughout your teen years!  I also pray that you don’t prove to be as difficult of a teenager as you were a baby and toddler!  

Robby, I am so proud of the responsible boy you have turned out to be!  You are determined!  You are a hard worker!  You have a special heart for obeying and pleasing God!  Your not perfect, but the few times you’ve done something wrong, I’ver personally observed your grieving heart.  You grieve over sin and want more than anything to please mommy and daddy, and most importantly deep within your heart is a true desire to please God.  I love this about you son!  I pray you never lose the genuineness of a heart so dedicated to pleasing your Savior!   

Happy Birthday Son!

I love you, Always!

Mom