When I think about this scary and uncertain world,
Panic and anxiety can easily overtake me.
Life is tough…
I’ve sat beside many hospital beds,
As those I love cry out in pain,
Drench the sheets due to fever.
And take their final breaths.
I’ve lost many loved ones….
People I will never forget,
Loved ones who have left forever imprints on my heart.
I’ve sat next to hospital beds…
Holding the hands of my sick babies,
Praying with people paralyzed with fear.
I’ve experienced sleepless nights…
Praying for steady breadth to return to my asthmatic child,
Praying for God to take a suffering loved one home,
Praying for strength to face the uncertainty that lay ahead.
I’ve held the hand of dying loved ones.
Feeling the inner tug of war: between loving and letting go.
I sang… read scripture… and prayed my dearest uncle right into the arms of Jesus.
I’ve observed my grandmother’s strong and healthy body,
Grow old and increasingly feeble.
I’ve felt the pang of hearing the doctor say, “She will never be able to return home!”
I’ve fought back tears of grief, pain, and heartache.
I’ve fought for joy’s return, into a heart so broken with grief.
My only hope in the difficult times,
Comes from a heart of brokenness,
Crying out for God!
And the realization … that He provides… Every time!
At times… The tears flow in droves.
At times… I’ve questioned my ability to survive my heart’s pain.
At times…. I’ve wondered how I could possibly face another day.
Fears lurking all around me,
Uncertainly stealing my piece of mind,
Rejection crushing my self-esteem,
Grief so real… so deep.. so utterly heart-wrenching.
In times of turmoil, strife, and pain,
God has proven… BIGGER!!!
God has proven… STRONGER!!!
God has provided…. STRENGTH!!!!
God has provided… JOY!!!
In the midst of a broken and fearful heart…
God has remained STEADY!
God has continued to provide COMFORT!
God has always proven GREATER!
Greater than my fears, pain, anger, and greif!!!
A life without God…
A life with God…
I WILL TRUST!
In my questioning… I remember 1 John 4:4
Greater is He that is in me; Than he that is in the world!!!