As a counselor, my job requires me to enter into the “messy” of people’s lives. The “messy” varies in degree of severity and intensity. The most painful aspect of entering into the “messy” of people’s lives, are the moments when I feel completely unqualified to “fix or solve” the painful areas in my client’s lives! These are the moments when love and compassion, isn’t enough to make a positive impact! When trust, rapport, and understanding isn’t enough to put a smile back on client’s faces! When the “learned text book material” isn’t enough to lead clients to healing! When your faced with your own humanness, weaknesses, pain, brokenness, and insufficiencies. Somehow, Satan uses this inner struggle to make you feel like a failure in the ministry, God himself called you into!
Today, wasn’t my strongest, bravest, wisest, or most knowledgeable day!!! Today, I felt scared, confused, and weak! Today, I was left questioning my ability to help anyone!
After enduring the hustle and bustle of graduation traffic, rude baristas, and my own inner struggles; I came home and cried into my pillow!
Once, my tears allowed for the exit of repressed emotions, God whispered this old song into my heart! A song I listened to for countless hours as a hurting and broken teenage girl. God used this song to pull me through the roughest, darkest, and most lonely nights of my teen years! There were many nights when the only thing that kept me from taking enough pills to end all the pain, was a loving God! A God who held me through the pain, wiped away all my tears, and slowly began the process of healing a broken-hearted little girl!
I am alive today… for one reason!!!
GOD!!!
{God became my strength, when my strength was gone!}
In all honesty, there were times when my strength to live, seemed to hang on by a thread! The pain was intense! The pain was real!
Despite, the realness of the pain, God’s strength, love, and compassion was greater! God, literally became my reason to live!
At some point during my early years as a believer, I began to understand the depth of God’s power and strength; my heart grew stronger and my resolve increased!
My resolve; To survive, thrive, and live my life sharing the saving power of God’s unconditional love!
God reminded me tonight, in the midst of my own struggle and doubting; that I am not capable or qualified to save hurting souls! I absolutely don’t have the ability to save my clients, nor did I have the power to save my own broken and battered spirit!
He reminded me through the words of this familiar old song, “His Strength Is Perfect”, by Steven Curtis Chapman.
He reminded where strength originates…
Philippians 4:13 ” I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!”
I was reminded tonight, “I absolutely don’t have what it takes to be a Christian counselor!”
He does!!! He has the strength, wisdom, unconditional love, and knowledge required to win the heart’s of His children!
My job; To love!!! To pray for and with my clients! To seek wisdom! To fall on my knees when I don’t know the next step! To be there and available!
Most importantly;
To continually lead them to the God who healed my soul!
I admit! There’s nothing special about me! I am human! I am “messy”! I am confused! I make mistakes!
The only thing that sets me apart; Is my calling!
My resolve; To be the hands and feet of Jesus and to lead hurting souls to the “One True” Healer! To direct anyone who crosses my path to God!!!
John 13: 34 & 35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Mathew 4: 19 & 20 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people. At once they left their nets and followed him.”
Blessings, Crystal Ridlon Master’s Level Therapist
The Flame Within 
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