The Flame Within

Countless times Lord, you have caught me.
Always there to keep my faith from shattering on the cold… hard floor.
My heart is reaching, needing, and yearning…
For yet another miracle.
A miracle of God sized healing, peace, and comfort.

This one’s tough…
When will the healing come?
Can healing come from this?
From this finality?
The death of my beloved?
From the void of him… my life-long encourager?

Each day I open my eyes…
I tell myself…
Today’s a new day… There will be no tears.
Upon getting out of bed… I see him everywhere.
Thoughts of his love and compassion capture my mind.

My heart’s focus…
Remains on the wonderful memories we shared.
The times we laughed, sang, held hands, the times he kissed my forehead.

You see, Lord.
This ones hard… real hard.
I’ve never lost one I loved and cherished so much.

He’s was my uncle… Yet, so much more.

He was…

The reason… I chose to follow you.
A big part of my childhood.
The part which lead my needy… searching heart to the foot of the cross.
He is the reason… I chose to wait for a Godly husband.
A man of commitment to his God, his wife, his children, his family and friends.

How is it, that it took his final days… his death,
To make me see the impact my uncle had on my life?

These memories… are happy.
So why do they leave my heart so sad?
When will the memories make me smile?
When will healing come from this pain?

Lord, this one’s big.
I need your healing.
Your comfort… your peace.

I need you to remind my heart…
The reason… I chose to follow you.
Remind my heart of the joy he’s feeling in Your presence.
Provide my mind with visual’s.
Pictures of him dancing… laughing… and whole.

Lord, give me the heart of Christ.
Take this temporal… Earthly focus.
Turn it into a heart… That seeks the Kingdom.
A heart that seeks life’s fulfillment,
Beyond this painful and temporary world.

Lord, give me a heart like my uncle’s… a heart like Christ’s!