The Flame Within

— You Have to Fight for Your Healing —-

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” — John 16:33

Over the past several months, I have been fighting for my healing.

Not because I wanted to.

Because I had to…

After walking through a season of intense loss, several traumatic events, a move across the country, and then being assaulted in Australia, the toll on my heart, mind, and body was considerable. The assault resulted in a moderate to severe concussion, and eventually I underwent extensive neuropsychological testing to evaluate the impact on my brain and memory.

The results were surprising. The doctor explained that the trauma was the primary concern, while the concussion was the secondary concern.

The hardest thing to hear was what the doctor told me afterward. She told me I needed to begin taking care of myself and putting myself first, allowing my mind, body, and soul the time they needed to heal.

She encouraged me to spend the next year intentionally focusing on my own healing because she was even more concerned about the cumulative trauma I had experienced than the concussion itself. Hearing that was sobering. It was especially difficult to hear, because the nature of who I am, is caring. I care for others to a fault at times and this would require a significant lifestyle change for myself and those around me. I knew I couldn’t simply keep pushing through.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Knowing how essential my brain is to my everyday functioning and to my life as a whole, I knew I had to take her advice. As a therapist, my work requires a tremendous amount of concentration, critical thinking, emotional presence, and mental capacity every single day. My brain is one of the greatest tools God has entrusted to me.

Not to mention, I am a wife and a mom. I want to be fully present for my family, and I want to become the healthiest, strongest version of myself. So, I began making difficult decisions.

I reduced my workload.

I decreased the number of counseling sessions I accepted.

I intentionally slowed my pace.

I sought the Lord more intently.

I journaled more.

I intentionally read more books and reduced unnecessary and mindless scrolling on my phone.

I spent more time with my family.

I worked hard to quiet my spirit instead of constantly living in survival mode.

Financially, those decisions have certainly affected us. My daughter and I really wanted to go to Florida for a week, but financially we couldn’t pull it off. But God has been so faithful. He has continued to provide for our family, and we have lacked nothing we truly needed. And… my daughter and I ended up having a lot of fun together at home.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19

Within just a few months, I have begun noticing something beautiful.

My thinking feels clearer.

My mind doesn’t feel so cluttered.

My headaches are greatly reduced.

My spirit feels lighter.

I genuinely feel like my joy is returning.

The other day I mentioned this to my husband, Robert. Without hesitation he smiled and said, “I’ve noticed.”

Then he said something that made me stop.

“You’re more playful.”

Later that day I realized something else.

I’ve been dancing again.

Not because anyone asked me to.

Not because life suddenly became easy.

Just because joy was quietly returning.

I don’t think I’ve really danced in years.

At first I assumed it was simply because my children had grown up. When they were little, we danced in the kitchen, in the living room, and wherever music happened to be playing. In the aisles of stores, much to the embarrassment of my children.

But after further thought, I realized it wasn’t that my children had gotten older.

It was that somewhere along the road, trauma and loss had quietly stolen a part of my joy.

Without even realizing it, I had stopped dancing.

“You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.” — Psalm 30:11

As a therapist, I often tell my clients something that may surprise them.

Therapy is not magic.

Simply showing up each week does not heal us.

A good therapist can teach skills, provide wisdom, create safety, and walk alongside someone through their journey.

But healing happens as we intentionally apply those truths to our daily lives.

Healing happens as we renew our minds.

Healing happens as we practice healthy habits.

Healing happens as we surrender ourselves to God over and over again.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” — Romans 12:2

Healing requires participation.

It requires courage.

It requires discipline.

It requires slowing down.

Sometimes it even requires letting go of good things so we can embrace God’s best.

Today, I simply want to encourage someone who may be in a difficult season.

Fight for your healing.

Fight for your joy.

Fight for your peace.

Fight for your family.

Fight for your relationship with Christ.

Open His Word.

Spend time in worship.

Pray even when you don’t feel like it.

Protect your mind.

Choose what brings life.

The Lord desires more for us than merely surviving.

He calls us to abundant life.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” — John 10:10

Healing is rarely instant.

It is usually a thousand small decisions made in obedience to God.

And one day, without even realizing it…

You may find yourself dancing again.

Reflection

What is one intentional step you can take this week to fight for your healing instead of simply hoping it happens?

Philippians 2:12–13
“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”

Blessings, Crystal Ridlon, LPC