The Flame Within

Write a book.

Sing professionally…

Earn a degree…

Start an award winning blog…

Begin a Bible study…

Or a Christian mom’s group…

What are your aspirations?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my life. Not “lately” but forever… all the time.

I’ve wrestled with who I am… who does God want me to be… who do I want to be… am I all that I should be… all that God desires me to be?

Married at 22… first baby at 24.

A homemaker… my world.

Is this enough? Is this all God desires of me?

Can I be content?

Here…Now?

Dreams… So many dreams… ideas… aspirations.

How do I make sense of all these thoughts… these ideas… these dreams… all these desires?

How can I separate, these thoughts crowding my mind?

How can I determine… which thoughts to throw out… which desires to give wings… which ones to put into action?

Is it fear?

Does fear disable my ability to progress? To use my voice to glorify God… to use my fingers to type a life-changing book? To use my words… to share the “truth that saved me”? To begin a much needed mom’s group?

God in his word… called people… despite their fear.

Moses… He doubted his ability to lead the Israelite’s into the Promised Land. He submitted to God and called out to God for help.

Out of fear, Jonah disobeyed God. Although being swallowed by a whale doesn’t sound like fun, God used him. He taught Jonah, that if he calls him to do something, he will help him accomplish the task.

God doesn’t have a history of calling the best… the popular… or the arrogant. He has a history of calling the weak… the doubtful… and the fearful.

I struggle to discern… God’s calling on my life.

Few things I am certain about in my life…

*I am open to his calling.

*I am waiting for his direction.

*I have not “arrived”.

*He desires for me to love my husband. To be his helpmate… to walk alongside him. To grow old with him… to respect him… and to be his best friend.

*He has blessed me with four beautiful children. He has called me to train them up… teach them Biblical principles… and to respect those in authority.

*I need him….

*I long for his peace…

*I can’t face any facet of this uncertain life, without him.

*I need his daily doses of wisdom, like the oxygen that keeps me alive moment by moment.

* There’s no where I’d rather be, than in the center of His will.

My heart has much to learn about God’s love… God’s will for my life.

At times his direction may not seem clear.

Maybe… Just maybe.

It’s all part of the process… the journey… the plan for my life.

Could it be?

He’s teaching us…

Preparing us.

Could it be?

His avenue for directing us to our Heavenly destination.