The Flame Within

All morning I have been thinking about my love life. It’s true, even mom’s with four children, have a love life. I know, you must be shocked!

Maintaining my love life, becomes harder as life becomes more complicated. Life… Kids… Commitments… Worry… Cleaning… and Everyday concerns. All these distractions, distract me from adequately loving my husband. I’m not the only woman with this “issue”. Actually, I think “most” women suffer from this condition.

I am the luckiest woman in the world. My husband is amazing! He’s downright good looking, he loves me, he supports me, he’s funny, he is the most wonderful father, he is a great provider, and most importantly he loves and serves God.

This afternoon I was reading Song of Songs (that will get you thinking, about the condition of your love life). I was reminded of our dating years. I remember longing for his presence. I remember the excitement that overcame me the night before I knew I would get to see him. I remember being too excited to sleep. I remember our intense physical affection, and how much I longed for him. I remember impatiently waiting for our wedding night. I remember wishing he was beside me, when I closed my eyes. I remember dreaming about him and our future. I remember… I will never forget!

Twelve years have passed, and our marriage has been through many highs and lows. We’ve encountered several big moves (one three year move abroad), jobs, graduate school, illness, economic hardship, four children, and many sick kid moments. Song of Song’s is a chapter in the Bible which speaks of “erotic” or “passionate” love. It’s funny how our love has changed. The intense feelings spoken of in Song of Songs, are still present. Although these feelings now present themselves differently. Every morning when he leaves for work, my heart dips. I think about him all day, and I miss him. My favorite sound each day, is hearing the garage door go up, and watching him pull up the drive. When life kicks my tail, and I feel lonely and frustrated, I long for his embrace. No one else, can love me the way he does. I long for his touch! I long for his embrace. He is my best friend, and my biggest helper.

I am a feminine creature. If there is a generalization regarding women, it’s me (except, I am a good driver). I love deeply… I think too much… I desire to be beautiful… I long to be loved… I want to be a princess (not a queen – they have too much responsibility), and I can’t mentally separate life’s issues. If something is wrong, a relationship broken, or someone is sick, it affects my entire world. Including, how I show love to my husband.

I should take this opportunity to send a quick message to my husband and best friend… “Robert, I love you! I am honored to be your wife. I am thankful for all your do and how wonderfully you provide for our family. I want to apologize for being side-tracked, and for not giving you the attention and love you need. I know I have ADD tendencies and I get easily distracted, and for that I am sorry! I love you! I’m thankful for you and our marriage!”

As time sneaks away, I realize how time changes us. Time changes our love life, our physical ability, our children, our priorities, our relationships, our maturity level, and our spiritual growth. Through the years we have become adults, parents, teachers, friends, and leaders. Through it all, our love has evolved. Evolved into something deeper, more beautiful, more dependent on God… A deeper commitment to love one another… Even when the going gets tough! Our love is not solely “erotic” or “passionate”, our love goes way beyond the world’s definition of love. The two of us are soul mates, best friends, and lovers. Our life experiences pushes us together and our love for God continues to be the glue of our marriage. Our soul’s are woven in ways we can’t fathom or comprehend. God’s love unites us… He is me, and I am He… We are one!