I’m thankful this day is coming to a close! All day it’s been a struggle to find peace, patience, clarity, and any resemblance of order. The struggle to find peace within my soul, has stolen my joy and created a long and unbearable day.
In the midst of my struggle, the Holy Spirit intervened, softly and tenderly speaking my name. I vaguely heard the quiet murmur of the Holy Spirit speaking, in the thick of my overwhelming emotions. Once I sat in bed after a long day of confusing thoughts, endless commotion, racing thoughts, constant mistakes, and a complete lack of patience.
My children were abnormally rowdy today, the house was messy, and the world around me seemed unusually hectic. After sending the children to bed, the stillness of the evening settled in. As all God’s creatures fell into a quiet slumber and the noise level began to drop, I slowly regained my equilibrium. Immediately, my eyes filled with tears, as I began to clearly hear that still small voice speak; Calling me to sweet surrender! It didn’t take long to gain my attention, as my heart was in need of an attitude change. Immediately, I knew there was nowhere else to turn, except into the tender arms of Jesus! As the weariness welled up within my soul, I fell into my pillow, drenching my cheeks in a full release of pent up emotion.
Occasionally, I find myself fighting the trenches of a bad day! Too often, I struggle to remember to seek refuge, immediately in the arms of the Father. Forgetting to utilize my greatest lifeline first and foremost, makes for an extremely long and difficult day! As the night time closes in, my soul yearns for answers to the day’s trials. In the quiet of the darkness, I hear the voice of God! I hear his still small voice beckoning my tired soul to find refuge in his arms. In the presence of God, the racing thoughts cease, my heart rate returns to normal, and the heaviness on my chest is lifted.
I want to kick myself for being a slow learner! I want to shame myself for being ignorant of my own spiritual necessities! I want to beat myself up for failing to seek God first thing in the morning! All the while, the still small voice whispers into the depths of my soul; “No, sweet child! Listen…
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.’”
Isaiah 43:2
“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Revelation 21:4
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Isaiah 43:1-3
Once I came to the end of myself and surrendered to the Lord of my heart, peace slowly began to return to my soul, and my heart once again felt settled.
Friends, Life is not easy and each one of us will have difficult and trying days. As a believer I continue to learn the importance of leaning on God and handing over the fights of my life! I am certainly not perfect, my heart breaks, I make daily mistakes, I struggle with my own sin nature, I have deep-rooted insecurities, and I am most often my own worse enemy. My soul has a long journey toward the destination of “whole & complete” and some days healing looks really far away. I know where to go when the days are long and hard; Straight to the arms of Jesus! I know where to find my lifeline! Once I give up my personal fight and surrender control over the unmanageable areas of my life, God shows up! My God is the greatest, most stable, and most trustworthy lifeline on Earth!
Love,
Crystal
The Flame Within 
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