The Flame Within

When a season of battling comes to a close, it comes with a myriad of emotions; Grief, sadness, fear, disappointment, relief, joy, and happiness. Gratitude because the battle is coming to an end, but overwhelmed with the finality of it all.

This season can be characterized as long-suffering. Complete with endless prayer, learning, stetching of endurance, and tremendous growth. This battle required a determination to remain standing in the midst of great pain, uncertainty , and scrutiny from people who couldn’t understand. It was a time of where patience was essential, crucial to the mission; Which was not an easy feat for a woman who tends to be impatient. Pressing forward when at times it felt easier to retreat.

On the other side of the battle, I see great progress. I see profound healing and steady growth. I believe there is hope in the final outcome.
If I am being completely honest, the outcome is not fully what I had hoped and prayed for. I prayed for accountability and justice. I prayed for the full light of Jesus to shine brightly on the unrighteous; on the darkness and evil.

Yet even here, I can say this:

The light of Jesus has been present all along. God’s answers to my prayers rarely came in the way I expected. Yet, looking back I see he was faithfully present in the process.

Rarely does a battle characterized by long-suffering end in the manner in which you fully imagined. God’s ways are surely not my ways. Through prayer and quiet time with the Lord, I have made peace with the outcome. Peace is essential to everything I live for, because nothing this world has to offer can be a substitute for God’s peace.

Isn’t that often how life unfolds? Rarely the very best or the very worst scenario, but landing somewhere in the middle. A space where one’s faith is stretched and the healing lies in continual surrender to God.

Godly people run to God, not away from Him. We cling to the promise of a peace that surpasses all understanding.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:7

I have gained significant wisdom in the journey. I have learned key factors to the importance of taking a stand for the Lord. I have learned life lessons from every elongated battle endured for the Lord.

Looking back, I see that the deepest meaning and purpose was not in the battle itself.

It was in the standing, when I was tired. It was in taking a stand against evil and refusing to allow evil to have power over us that produced deep-rooted freedom.
It was in choosing righteousness when it would have been easier in the moment to retreat.
It was in the long-suffering process where I found God’s truest and purest healing.

There were certainly times when retreat seemed easier and tempting. Retreating for the sake of temporary comfort would have led to regret and would have halted the very healing God was working out in my heart.

Standing was costly. It was painful. It was not an easy road.
But it was freeing. It was the road God desired of me. I know God is proud… and He calls me His beloved daughter.

Healing came in the taking a stand.
Healing came in the process.
Healing came in the courage to confront what was wrong.
Healing came in refusing to be silenced by fear.
Healing was found in steadily climbing the mountain in front of me and this has made all the difference.
Healing was found in the breathtaking views captured along the treacherous path.
Healing was found in the prayers whispered when no one else could see or understand the rocky terrain we were forced to walk upon.
Healing was in trusting God when everything felt uncertain.

Friends,
We find Jesus in the storm.
We find Him in the trial.
We find Him in the crucifixion.
We find Him in the desert.
We find Him in the battle.

We often find God in the most difficult journeys.
It is important to remeber that He is never absent in our suffering. He is present in it.

“Call to Me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things you do not know.”
Jeremiah 33:3

“Seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7

The battle is coming to an end, but the healing will continue and the growth will remain.

It is true… the view from this mountain is different than the one I imagined when the battle began, but it is still beautiful. I see God in the final stretch.

I know this with certainty: God wastes nothing. Every trial. Every battle. Every hardship. God uses for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.

Reflection

• Is there a battle in your life that did not end the way you hoped?
• Where has standing firm produced healing you could not see at first?
• Have there been moments when retreat seemed easier, but perseverance brought deeper freedom?
• Where have you seen Jesus present in the storm, even if the outcome was not perfect?

The ending of your elongated battle may not look the way you had hoped or imagined. It rarely does. Look for God in the final stretch. He is always with you and has never forsaken you along the journey, and He will not forsake you in the end.

Blessings,
Crystal Ridlon, LPC