The Flame Within

Romans 8:26 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Lord, Where are you?  Today you seem so far out of my reach.  I long to reach out and touch your robe, to feel my fingertips brush alongside the Holiness of your presence.  Why can’t I seem to grasp your presence?  Your peace seems foreign to my soul…  this foreign feeling is the epitome of loneliness.  I can’t live another day, another moment, another minute in the wretched mess I have created deep within my spirit.  Why can’t I find you in my worship?  Why can’t I feel you in my quiet place?  Why can’t I find joy in my life?  

Lord, I now realize something within me has rejected you!  My worldly desires have taken over control over my life.  What I want, what I desire, what I “think” will make me happy…  Has created a big.. ugly… painful.. and lonely mess out of my life!  My sinful desire for control has pushed you aside.  I admit Father, I am weak!  I am a complete mess without you leading and guiding my every step! I’ve taken control of my life.  Lord, you gently handed control over to my incapable hands.  It seems I don’t want control over my life, after all! You allowed me to take control, knowing I would make a mess of my heart, my soul, and my peace.  Lord, I don’t want control of this life of mine.  I hand my desire for control to your fully capable hands.  I need you to fill me, comfort me, and fix the mess I’ve made. Your word says, “When we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”  Lord fulfill this promise in my embittered soul.  Holy Spirit intercede for me.  My heart groans for more of you!  My heart yearns to be in your holy presence.  I can’t face another day in control of my life.  I admit it…  I am not capable of living a victorious life without Your perfect love.

Please Lord, take the reins of my mess, of my embittered spirit, of the pain so deeply disturbing my spirit!  Take my heart and rein in my worldly bitterness, anger, and gluttonous lifestyle!  Lord, help me to follow you whole heartedly and to seek you above all!  Forgive me Lord for my humanness! 

Lord, Thank you for always being “So Very Real”!  Thank you for always waiting patiently for me to return to your presence!  Thank you for always waiting with arms open wide!  Thank you for the peace I already feel!  Thank you for saving me over and over again!

I Love You So Much Dear Father,

Your child,

Crystal