The Flame Within

As a student pursuing a Master’s degree in counseling, I have come across information which has thrown me back into my past. My past is not a comfortable place and my motto is “my past is my past… it’s better off left in the {past}”. As a counseling student I’ve come to understand the importance of thoroughly dealing with my painful history. I recall a recent Christian counseling experience, where I spent an hour retelling my story. I left the office in tears and feeling defeated. Despite, these initial temporary negative emotions I continued to attend counseling services. The next week God prepared my heart for miraculous understanding and healing. Soon I began to experience freedom in God’s love. I realized, despite my ability to function effectively in life as a woman in the church, a wife, a mother, and a friend, many of my struggles were evolving from deep rooted past experiences.

{Why am I writing this?}

Unfortunately, I feel many of us have painful life stories. Many of us attend church, put a big smile on our faces, and pretend we’ve got everything under control.
{What have I learned?}

There is {no} healing in pretending!

We attend church, get involved in every activity under the sun, and keep ourselves constantly on the go and entertained… all in effort to avoid our inner struggles. I am pursuing a degree in counseling, not because I think I have arrived or that I’ve got it all figured out. I am pursuing a degree in counseling because I realize that this world, our homes, and our churches are filled with God’s {imperfect} and {hurting} people. I am pursuing a degree in counseling to develop skills to come alongside God’s people and offer a safe place for my brother’s and sister’s to grow… to pray… to confess their frailties and insecurities from one who has suffered the {pit} myself.

Friends, I am by far the picture of {perfection}. I need Christ every moment to face the constant spiritual battle attempting to gain victory over my soul. My soul has been won through the price Christ paid at the cross. I need Christ’s love to face each day… to achieve God’s continual peace… and find complete and ultimate healing. One day I will face Christ at the pearly gates and I yearn to hear him say, “Welcome home! Well done my faithful servant!”

I can’t remain a faithful servant on my own. I need thee every hour! I need thee everyday! I need thee in my darkness! I need thee when my strength is depleted! I need thee to face this life… victoriously! That’s why I am pursuing a degree in counseling!

{We ALL need Him, in every aspect of our lives!}

I proclaim to the world the healing God has performed in my heart! He’s all that, and I am just a vessel, A {measly} vessel he has so graciously called to be the hand’s and feet of Jesus.

Friends, please pray as I continue to pursue this degree… Pray that I will remain steadfast and focused on God… Pray that I will be open to the Holy Spirit!