The Flame Within

Several minutes ago as my sweet husband and I began our nightly routine of shutting down the house for the night, he asked me a simple question that helped me ponder about how truly blessed I am. As we headed to bed, I looked into the darkened kitchen and I ask my husband to turn on the nightlight {it’s a Sunflower nightlight, one of my all time favorite things}. He jokingly asked me, “Why, are you scared?” I quickly responded no ~ but then I began to think… “I’m {really} not scared in this house.” I began to recall how there was always an underline fear lurking in every place I’ve lived. Fear has always been a part of me. I remember in the past washing my face and rinsing the soap off super fast ~ because I was always fearful someone would be behind me ready to grab me. I’m not sure where all these fears originated, although I have some pretty good inclinations~ my childhood home never felt safe, scary movies I was allowed to watch as a child, and the fact that I live in a fallen world. As my mind glanced back to all the places I’ve lived – A sudden realization came over me. Fear {the act of always being afraid} is no longer hindering my everyday life, it is no longer forcing me to look behind every door, causing me to get soap in my eyes due to the inability to keep my eyes closed for the duration of my face washing ritual, or causing me to lie awake listening for the sound of burglars lurking in the darkness. I realized, this is a [victorious] moment! The word of God says, 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Fear once threatened my sense of security, but God has replaced that fear with deep rooted feelings of safety and stability. A scripture God brought to my mind is “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Praise The Lord!

Wow! I just realized that this home is the first home where I’ve felt true stability. Most of my life I have moved often and the familiarity of a home never remained for long ~ a few years at the most. But this home ~ is ours! I don’t have to fear another lurking move, the uncertainty of the unfamiliar, and I can just relax, knowing for now we are {home}!