An Open Letter to the Southern Baptist Convention, SBC Pastors, Ministers, Leaders, and Church Members
Dear Southern Baptist Convention, pastors, ministers, leaders, and church members,
I write this letter today as someone who has been a member of and supporter of Southern Baptist churches for many years.
In fact, at age fifteen, while living through significant abuse in my own home, I found solace in a little Southern Baptist church at the end of the street where I lived. There, I found Jesus. I found people who loved Jesus and therefore loved me with His love. I found hope, and I found belonging. It was the first time in my life that I truly felt like I belonged somewhere.
Because of that, I have a great love for Southern Baptist churches and for God’s Church as a whole.
I met my husband at age sixteen at a Southern Baptist camp called Super Summer. I spent many impactful summers attending camps, youth conventions, and church events that shaped my future in profound ways. Those experiences helped form my faith and my understanding of God’s love.
Growing up, we always had a male senior pastor. To be honest, I do not remember many of the details surrounding church leadership at the time. I was a teenager working through trauma, and my focus was simply on surviving, growing, and learning about Jesus. What I do remember, however, is that I did not experience a devaluing of women within my church.
Our youth leader was a woman. The choir director was a woman. The church pianist, who faithfully served and invited me to church time and again, was a woman. Women were serving, leading, teaching, encouraging, and ministering. I do not remember growing up amid a divisive battle about women in ministry. Perhaps it existed and I was unaware of it, but that was not my experience.
Years later, my family lived in places where there were no Southern Baptist churches, and we spent many years outside the Southern Baptist Convention. Eventually, we moved and found our way back.
It is from this place of love and gratitude for the SBC that I write this letter.
I have been reading and hearing about the recent discussions and vote regarding women in ministry. I want to acknowledge that I was not present at the convention. I do not know all the details, nor do I know the heart posture of every person involved. My understanding is that the vote concerns whether women should serve in the role of senior pastor or preach in ways that are considered pastoral authority over the congregation.
Let me say clearly: I believe the Bible.
I believe Scripture teaches that qualified men are called to serve as pastors and elders within the church. I believe a godly man should serve as the spiritual leader of the local church. I understand that some Christians disagree, and I respect their right to do so, but I personally agree with the SBC’s doctrinal position.
My concern is not the doctrine.
My concern is the posture.
My concern is what many women are hearing and feeling in the midst of these conversations.
As I listen, I hear a great deal about what women cannot do. What I hear far less often is the biblical value, dignity, importance, and significance of women in God’s Kingdom.
This is where my heart breaks.
Throughout Scripture, God consistently demonstrates His love, respect, and value for women.
Esther courageously stood before powerful men and helped save God’s people.
Ruth’s faithfulness became part of God’s redemptive story.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, was entrusted with carrying and raising the Savior of the world. God Himself spoke directly to her and entrusted her with an extraordinary calling.
Mary Magdalene was among Christ’s most faithful followers and was entrusted with proclaiming the news of His resurrection.
Martha served Christ faithfully and was personally taught by Him.
Again and again, we see women strategically placed by God in roles that changed outcomes and advanced His purposes.
Women have immense value in God’s eyes.
We are worthy of His love.
We are worthy of His care.
We are worthy of His ministry.
We have a meaningful and vital place within His Kingdom.
Yet this is the message I feel is often missing.
I hear discussions about protecting biblical roles, but I hear very little about celebrating biblical value.
As a woman, this creates a dissonance in my spirit.
My husband and I have a very traditional marriage. We believe he has the responsibility of spiritual leadership within our home. We also believe that leadership carries responsibility, sacrifice, humility, and love.
Scripture calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.
My husband would gladly lay down his life for me.
He values my thoughts, listens to my perspective, and treats me as an equal image-bearer of God. We work together as a team. Neither role is more important than the other. They are different, but both are necessary.
Together, we have raised four wonderful children under these principles.
We have taught our children that God has created them with purpose and value.
We have taught our sons to honor women.
We have taught our daughter that she is deeply loved by God and has an important role in His Kingdom.
I believe we are living in a time when the Church must hold firmly to biblical truth. The culture is increasingly hostile to God’s design for humanity, marriage, family, and the Church.
However, I also believe we are living in a time when people are leaving churches in droves because they have experienced controlling, harsh, authoritarian, emotionally disconnected, and sometimes chauvinistic expressions of Christianity.
People are not running from Jesus.
Many are running from distortions of Jesus.
More than ever, we need spiritual discernment.
We need to ask not only whether we are defending biblical truth, but whether we are reflecting the heart of Christ while doing so.
Jesus loved women.
He listened to women.
He taught women.
He defended women.
He healed women.
He honored women in a culture that often did not.
If we are going to uphold biblical roles, then we must be equally passionate about upholding biblical value.
The Church should be the loudest voice proclaiming the dignity, worth, and importance of women.
Especially now.
Especially in this moment.
Especially given the SBC’s painful history regarding abuse, victim care, and accountability.
This is not the time for communication that can be perceived as dismissive, harsh, or devaluing toward women.
This is the time to stand firmly on biblical truth while simultaneously demonstrating Christlike tenderness, humility, honor, and love.
My plea to those involved in these conversations is simple:
Please take time to prayerfully consider how these messages are being communicated.
Please ensure that women hear not only what their role is not, but also what their value is.
Please make it abundantly clear that women are not second-class citizens in the Kingdom of God.
They are daughters of the King.
Created in His image.
Gifted by His Spirit.
Deeply loved by their Savior.
As a woman who believes the Bible and ultimately agrees with the doctrinal position being defended, I respectfully ask that we examine not only our theology, but also our tone, our posture, and our witness.
Truth and love were never meant to compete with one another.
In Christ,
Crystal Ridlon, LPC
A grateful, longtime member of Southern Baptist churches
I would love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your stories, your heart, and your thoughts. Comment or feel free to PM me.
The Flame Within 
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